As a busy working mum in my 40s, I know just how unpredictable perimenopause can be. The emotional outbursts over things I once took in my stride. The anxiety and panic triggered by everyday situations – the school run, driving a new route, a work meeting. Add in the weight gain, 3 am wake-ups and constant hunger, and it can feel relentless.

I’m Becki, a Nutritional Therapist and busy mom to two little ones. I’ve experienced firsthand how simple nutrition and lifestyle changes are supporting me through perimenopause, not only easing my symptoms but helping me navigate this stage with greater clarity and confidence.

The Chaos

Having said that, as busy mums, we often put everyone else’s needs above our own, and that includes nutrition. Take breakfast on a school morning. How often do we find ourselves preparing everyone else’s breakfast exactly how they like it, while in the rush to get out the door, we forget ourselves and end up just grabbing a coffee to keep us going?

We skip lunch, eat on the go, and suddenly, at 9 pm, the hunger hits. Often uncontrollable hunger that leads us to rummage in the cupboards for emergency chocolate and crisps. This isn’t a lack of willpower. It’s the result of a busy mum trying to hold up the family while her own body is going through hormonal chaos.

Understanding Perimenopause

Understanding perimenopause has helped me enormously. Recognising what is going on in my body has answered so many questions.

Why am I feeling fantastic one day and crying at my desk the next?

Why could I do my usual workout on Monday, and today I can barely climb the stairs?

Why am I snapping at everyone and forgetting why I came downstairs?

Why do I suddenly feel like I can’t do my job after being highly successful for the last few decades?

The Perfect Storm

The reason is erratic hormones.

Put simply, during perimenopause, oestrogen starts to behave unpredictably, spiking at times and plummeting at others without warning. Meanwhile, progesterone, our calming hormone, steadily declines, often leaving us more vulnerable to anxiety and low mood. Our hectic lives add more fuel to the fire, creating the perfect storm for hormonal chaos and for women feeling like they no longer recognise themselves.

So here are my personal top 5 tips to help you feel more nourished and energised through this challenging phase, without adding more overwhelm to an already hectic life.

Breakfast before coffee

In my practice, I’ve seen this simple shift change everything. If your mornings involve grabbing a black coffee and rushing out the door without breakfast, it may be worth experimenting with switching it around. Try eating breakfast slightly earlier and having your coffee afterwards instead. For many women I work with, this simple shift can make a real difference to headaches, energy dips and late morning cravings.

Protein, fibre and healthy fats at every meal

Energy dips are a common experience in perimenopause and often leave women reaching for quick pick-me-ups like coffee or sugary snacks. The culprit? Often fluctuating hormones, with oestrogen once again behaving unpredictably and affecting blood sugar regulation.

A simple way to support more stable energy is to include protein, fibre and healthy fats at every meal. This combination helps to keep blood sugar steadier, keeps you fuller for longer and can reduce the energy crashes that send you hunting for snacks an hour later.

My go-to budget-friendly options include:
Protein: Greek yoghurt, hemp seeds, eggs, chicken, turkey, tofu, tempeh, quinoa
Fibre: colourful vegetables, cooled pasta, potatoes and rice, beans and lentils
Healthy fats: oily fish, extra virgin olive oil, nuts and seeds, chia seeds, avocado

Hydration

It sounds simple, but our ability to hold on to water declines during perimenopause because of hormonal fluctuations. Add in night sweats and increased urination, and dehydration becomes much more likely. Staying well hydrated can support mental clarity, focus, energy and general wellbeing, which is exactly why it makes it into my top five.

Simple ways to drink more include swapping one regular tea or coffee for a herbal tea, adding fresh lemon, orange or mint to your water bottle, or swapping a fizzy drink for sparkling water.

Prioritise sleep

We all know this, don’t we? Yet a consistent and calming bedtime routine often ends up at the bottom of the list in perimenopause, just when we need it most. Sleep disruption can affect everything from blood sugar regulation to anxiety levels, so it’s worth doing what you can to support it.

Simple ways to improve sleep include:

• keeping caffeine to earlier in the day
• limiting screens in the evening, especially work emails or anything likely to trigger anxiety
• doing a 5-minute brain dump before bed instead of scrolling
• trying a body scan in bed to help your body switch into rest mode

Joy and connection

Joy and social connection are non-negotiables during perimenopause. When life feels heavy with symptoms, stress and the mental load of holding everything together, making space for things that lift your mood matters more than ever.

Maybe now is the time to join that choir, book club or Pilates class you’ve been thinking about. If you are time-poor, even a post-work chat with a close friend on the commute home can boost your mood. Small moments of joy and connection can make this transition feel far less isolating.

Perimenopause can feel challenging, unpredictable and, at times, overwhelming. But simple nutrition and lifestyle tweaks can make a real difference to how you feel day to day.

If your symptoms feel unmanageable, it’s important to speak to a healthcare professional and get the support you need. And if you’d like more support with your own perimenopause journey, I also work with women 1:1 and through my perimenopause group programme. Come and say hello on Instagram to find out more about how I can help, or book a free breakfast audit and let’s get your day off to a great start.

FAQs About Perimenopause Nutrition

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You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence at work. Here’s a simple framework to help you start the conversation with confidence.

Menopause affects half of all employees, and yet it remains one of the most uncomfortable topics in the workplace. If you’ve been struggling to find the words, you’re not alone. This blog walks you through exactly how to prepare for and have that all-important conversation with your manager, a colleague in HR, or someone in occupational health.

Why Is Menopause Still So Hard to Talk About?

The facts speak for themselves. In the UK, there are 3.5 million women over 50 in the workplace. Three out of four women experience menopause symptoms, and one in four of those symptoms can be serious. The average age for menopause in the UK is 51, though around 1 in every 100 women will experience it before the age of 40.

And yet, for many women, managing symptoms at work means quietly soldiering on and hoping that nobody notices the hot flushes, the brain fog, or the exhaustion from a night of broken sleep.

The reasons for staying silent are completely understandable. You might feel embarrassed, or you’re not even sure yourself what’s happening. Perhaps you don’t want to be seen to be struggling, or there’s a fear of being dismissed or ridiculed. Whatever’s holding you back, know this: you deserve support, and asking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Before the Conversation: Ask Yourself Two Questions

Before you approach anyone, it helps to get clear on two things:

1. What is the problem?
2. What does the other person think is the problem?

That second question matters more than you might expect. There’s a real possibility that the person you speak to has very little understanding of menopause or how it affects people at work. Going in with that awareness helps you frame the conversation in a way that’s constructive rather than confrontational.

Prepare Notes, Not a Script

It’s tempting to sit down and write out exactly what you want to say, word for word. Resist that urge. Your manager doesn’t know their lines, and if the conversation veers off course — which it likely will you’ll find yourself stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed. If brain fog is one of your symptoms, a rigid script can make things even harder.

Instead, jot down some bullet points covering:

• How your symptoms are affecting you
• How they’re impacting your work
• What practical adjustments might help
• A rough time frame for the support you’re looking for

Menopause in the Workplace: Your Four-Part Framework

When you’re ready to have the conversation, structure it around these four points:

1. I have a problem

Be clear and direct about what’s happening. For example: “I’m experiencing hot flushes because of my menopause” or “I’m exhausted due to night sweats.”

2. This is how it’s affecting me

Explain the personal impact. Hot flushes might mean you’re regularly stepping away from your desk to cool down. Night sweats might mean you’re coming in sleep-deprived and finding it harder to make decisions or complete tasks.

3. This is how it’s impacting my work

Connect your symptoms to your productivity in a factual, non-apologetic way. This isn’t about oversharing; it’s about helping your manager understand the practical reality.

4. Here’s what I need help with

Come with solutions in mind. Could you be provided with a desk fan or moved closer to a window? Could your desk be repositioned near the air conditioning? Could you start work later on difficult days, or work from home when needed? Practical, reasonable suggestions make it easier for your manager to say yes. Your ideas also help your manager think of alternatives or what else they can do for you.

How to Open the Conversation

You don’t need a formal speech, just a warm, honest opener. Something like:

“Thanks for making time to sit down with me. You know how important [project/role] is to me, but I’m really struggling to move forward at the moment. Part of the problem is that I’m experiencing menopause symptoms. I’d really like us to find a way for me to be as productive as possible. I’ve got a couple of ideas and I’d love to hear your thoughts too.”

Simple. Human. Collaborative.

Always Follow Up

Don’t let the conversation end without agreeing on next steps. Your manager may need time to think things through, and that’s okay. What matters is that you leave with a date in the diary to follow up and check on progress.

What If You Can’t Talk to Your Manager?

Not everyone has a manager they feel comfortable confiding in, and that’s a reality worth acknowledging. If that’s the case for you, consider reaching out to someone in HR, a trusted colleague, or your occupational health department if your organisation has one. You have options.

A Quick Recap

• Ask yourself: what’s the problem, and what might the other person think is the problem?
• Make notes and don’t rely on a script. Your notes can  cover your symptoms, their impact, and ideas for solutions
• Use the four-part framework: I have a problem / this is how it’s affecting me / this is how it’s impacting my work / here’s what I need help with
• Always agree on a follow-up date

The conversation might feel daunting, but having it is the first step to getting the support you deserve.

If your workplace wants to be better at supporting colleagues through menopause, rather than worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, get in touch with me or have a look at my website.

FAQs about Menopause in the Workplace

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For me, HRT has been a game-changer. I use Evorel Sequi patches which are a combination of oestrogen and progesterone. They got me out of the dark hole I was in and meant I was able to start thinking of other ways to support my body through one of its biggest transformations.

There’s a lot of information available about diet and exercise to support the body during peri and menopause, but I’ve felt overwhelmed by it all and didn’t really know where to start. So, I was delighted when I met Nicola Farndell at a netwalking (the healthiest kind of networking!) event in my local park and she asked if I’d like to try her Menopause Boost 5-day programme. I was kindly gifted access to the programme so that I could give feedback on it.

Menopause Boost programme

The programme covers three core areas – nutrition, moving your body and mindset. All of these are key when it comes to supporting our bodies throughout menopause and beyond. The programme is delivered via short videos covering each of the modules daily and has a workbook to use for each stage.

I liked the format of the course because I can listen to videos on the go – I often find it hard to find the time to sit down and read something. But I don’t like long videos either, again because of lack of time to listen to them fully, so the format was perfect for me. I found the daily tasks and the programme workbook manageable in little chunks of time throughout the day.

One important thing to mention at this stage is that this isn’t a course promising to help you lose weight and be able to run marathons by the end of it. The programme is about giving menopausal women the tools to get back to feeling more like themselves with more confidence, energy and sparkle. The last one is probably the most important bit for me as I’ve definitely lost my sparkle during perimenopause.

Over the five days, you’ll get inspiration and support to eat better, balance your diet, improve your fitness, kickstart your mindset and start feeling like life is for living again.

You’ll learn how to:

• Shift your mindset and reclaim control over your health.
• Wake up with more energy knowing you have what it takes to improve the way you feel.
• Feel more confident in your body, and know you absolutely can like who you are – menopause is not the end of the road! 

The Programme

The first day is an introduction to the programme and how it works with a task to get you started. The next four days follow the same format with a short video for each of the key areas. The nutrition section covers hydration and snacking, portion control, meal planning and smart substitutions giving you tips and inspiration to make tweaks to what and how you eat so that you’re giving your body the nutrition it needs.

The exercise section starts by explaining why it’s so important that we move our bodies more and do targeted work to build vital muscle which menopausal bodies need more of. The following four days then have videos of around 15 minutes covering bodyweight exercises, cardio blast, strength training and flexibility and recovery. Lack of time has been the main reason why exercise has gone to the bottom of the list for me over recent months so I was pleased to see that the sessions were short. I still felt like I’d done a workout, and around 15 minutes is a manageable amount of time for me to find in the day.

The mindset modules cover mindfulness, positive affirmations, visualisation techniques, stress reduction and celebrating progress. It’s so important to spend time on mindset because getting that part right makes the other parts much easier.

The results of Energise and Elevate: The Menopause Boost

When you’re menopausal, it can be hard to take the right action to support yourself and give your body and mind the fuel it needs to navigate this part of your life. I think there are two camps for this. The first is the one I fell into which is to feel completely overwhelmed, not knowing where to start and therefore do nothing. The second is reading everything they can lay their hands on about what to do, and trying everything.

Neither of those options is the answer. We need a balanced approach that is manageable and something we’re going to be able to maintain. For me, that’s what this programme does. It gives bite-sized chunks of information and practical support to help us navigate our way through menopause so that we can thrive and not just get through it with gritted teeth.

My takeaways

The biggest takeaways for me have been making small tweaks to what and how I eat and meal planning has been a bit of a revelation. It’s such an obvious thing to do, but something I don’t always have the headspace or time to do. But actually, it doesn’t take that long at all and saves time and money in the long run as there’s fewer last-minute dashes to the supermarket, or takeaways because we’re too tired to think of what to cook.

In terms of exercise, strength training has been the biggest takeaway. I’ve always avoided it because I tend to bulk out easily and have big shoulders which I don’t want to get any bigger! But listening to the reasons why it’s so important really helped so I have introduced some of this type of exercise into my routine.

Mindset has been a huge thing for me, not just with menopause but life in general. I’ve had a lot of big changes over the last few years and I’ve struggled a lot of the time with overwhelm. Revisiting mindfulness during the programme has reminded me of how much I enjoy it and how much better I feel when I’ve done it.

I’ve really enjoyed the programme and my biggest takeaway has been that little changes can have a big impact. As I said at the start, overwhelm has stopped me from taking action for a long time, but I now feel like I’ve got a toolkit that’s accessible and easy to dip into to help my whole body feel stronger and healthier.

Find out more about Menopause Boost

So, if you’re looking for a menopause programme that will give you practical, manageable and effective tips and advice, I’d recommend giving the “Energise and Elevate” a go. You can find all of the details about it from Nicola’s website. It costs £95 which is an excellent investment in your body and mind. If you’d like to read more about Nicola and what she does, read her article about the seasons of life.

This brilliant article has been written by Caren from Penarth Nutrition and provides advice to help us all eat healthy, nutritious foods that supports our body’s needs.

October is menopause awareness month and a great opportunity for me to shout about how the right balance of targeted nutrition can support us through this phase of our life.

In case we haven’t met – I’m Caren; a Registered Nutritionist with over 12 years’ experience helping people make positive changes to their diet so that they feel and look healthier.

I firmly believe that good nutrition isn’t about depriving yourself of foods you enjoy; it’s about making simple, practical adjustments that become a natural part of your daily routine, supplying your body with the essential nutrients it needs to flourish.

I have a special interest in women approaching or over 40 who are managing busy lives and are aiming for more energy, stable moods, weight loss and to manage their hormones – particularly during the menopause transition.

Understanding Menopause

Before we explore how nutrition can support your health, let’s quickly recap what menopause entails.

The transition can be divided into three stages:

Perimenopause

This is the phase that leads up to menopause and usually starts in our mid 40s, although in some cases as early as our mid 30s, and can last for over a decade. Early symptoms include irregular periods, mood changes, hot flushes and your body might feel ‘different’.

Menopause

The definition of menopause is when a woman has not had a menstrual cycle for 12 months. So ‘menopause’ is actually just one day!

Post-Menopause

After 12 months without a period things might settle down but we are not out of the woods yet! Many women still experience ongoing symptoms for a number of years (sorry!).

During the menopause transition, our oestrogen and progesterone levels decrease but unfortunately not in a steady controlled manner. Oestrogen often fluctuates dramatically impacting our moods, weight, sleep and appetite levels.

The Diet-Menopause Connection

Just as the hormone changes in our teenage years and pregnancy demanded adjustments to our nutrition, the menopause transition needs a different dietary approach.

Research shows that women incorporating specific nutrients into their diets and adhering to certain eating patterns experience a smoother menopause with fewer symptoms.

It’s never too late, or too early, to make changes to the diet to start supporting your body.

Here are a few areas where nutrition is useful:

Weight Management

The decrease in oestrogen affects metabolism, making it easier to gain weight and harder to burn fat. The right balance of protein, carbohydrates and healthy fats will help to manage weight and energy levels.

Hormonal Harmony

Certain foods like soy, flaxseeds and legumes contain compounds called phytoestrogens that mimic oestrogen and may alleviate symptoms such as hot flashes.

Combatting Fatigue

Feeling tired is common so we need to use food to keep our blood glucose balanced and eat meals that provide the vitamins and minerals for energy production.

Bone Health

The decline in oestrogen is a potential threat to your bone health. So, it is especially important to include sufficient protein, calcium, magnesium, vitamin D and other bone-loving nutrients.

Emotions

Fluctuating hormones influence our mood. Balanced nutrition will support your body and brain – try including foods rich in Omega-3 fatty acids such as fatty fish, chia seeds and walnuts.

The Menopause – Diet connection

Eating our way through the menopause transition is a two-way street! The hormonal fluctuations mentioned earlier can interfere with our intentions to make healthy choices.

We may find ourselves in a vicious cycle where our fluctuating hormones tempt us to indulge in options such as sugary foods, refined carbohydrates, alcohol and caffeine to resolve an unpleasant feeling. However, we’re aware that this kind of diet, in the long run, makes us feel worse.

Understanding the underlying reasons for these changes in appetite helps us to address the dietary challenges.

Oestrogen and Neurotransmitters

The hormone oestrogen affects neurotransmitters such as serotonin, dopamine that influence mood and reward. Lower levels of oestrogen can disrupt the delicate balance of these neurotransmitters leading to cravings.

Oestrogen and Appetite

The hormone helps to regulate appetite and body weight and as oestrogen levels decline, alterations in neurochemicals can lead to increased appetite.

Oestrogen and Insulin

Oestrogen influences insulin function which impacts how the body processes glucose. A decrease in insulin sensitivity is likely to prompt a preference for sugary and carbohydrate-rich foods.

Stress and Emotional Eating

The menopausal transition often coincides with increased stress levels and a busy life load. Persistently high cortisol can lead to emotional eating, where we turn to comfort foods high in sugar and refined carbohydrates to cope with stress-induced emotions.

Sleep Disturbances and Cravings

Menopausal women regularly experience sleep disruptions which impacts the regulation of hunger hormones such as ghrelin and leptin. Poor quality sleep alongside fatigue (another common symptom) prompts cravings for energy-dense, high-sugar foods.

Menopause triggers intricate changes in our hormonal balance that affect not only our bodies but also our thoughts and emotions, collectively influencing our dietary choices. Understanding why your body is demanding certain foods will help you develop strategies to minimise cravings and realise that, at this time of hormonal fluctuations, it’s often not a lack of willpower driving eating habits.

I hope that this have given you more of an insight in the connection between what we eat and how it can help support our body through menopause.

Managing menopause: Where To Start

If you’re considering dietary changes, here are five nutrition tips to get you started.

Protein

We need protein to produce hormones and maintain stable blood glucose levels, supporting consistent energy throughout the day.

Healthy Fats

Essential for stress and sex hormone production. Include sources like oily fish, nuts, seeds, and avocados in your diet.

Vegetables

Powerhouses of nutrients and phytonutrients. Aim for a minimum of 5 servings per day, striving for 10 servings, and pay particular attention to cruciferous vegetables.

Specific Nutrients

B vitamins are essential for energy / Vitamin C for skin, hair, bones and immunity / Vitamin D is essential for bone health / Magnesium is vital for energy, bones, stress, sleep, hormones.

Saboteurs

Be mindful of dietary saboteurs that disrupt your hormones, including caffeine, alcohol, toxins, and refined carbohydrates. Making informed choices in this regard is crucial for managing menopausal symptoms effectively.

Small changes in your diet and lifestyle can make a big difference to not only your overall health but also reduce the symptoms of menopause. Your menopausal journey is unique, and with informed choices, you’re setting yourself on a path to a healthier and happier future.

If you are ready to start making changes to your diet and have questions or would like to sign up to my nutrition programme, please get in touch.

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I’d been off for a while following my mum having a stroke. When I went back to work, everything had changed. It was the start of 2021 and we were still in the midst of Covid-19. Unfortunately, I didn’t receive the support I needed to get me back up to speed and I felt like I had no idea how to do my job.

I worked as a legal adviser in a courtroom. It was a stressful job at the best of times. But due to adoption leave and sick leave, at the start of 2021, I’d been away from work for 18 of the previous 24 months. Things had changed so much because of Covid. Despite having over twenty years of courtroom experience, I was left feeling like I was completely incompetent.

Panic attacks

I felt like I was on the verge of a panic attack most of the time and would come out of court ringing with sweat. I’d start to give advice in court and my mind would go completely blank. I thought all of this was because I’d lost my confidence due to the amount of time I’d been off.

It was clear I wasn’t going to get the support I needed from management, and was actually told that the trainees (who were 20+ years younger than me) were being given priority for support over me. I felt completely useless and that I couldn’t do my job anymore.

So, with nothing other than the beginnings of a writing business, I handed my notice in and left my job. I felt like I had no choice. I was becoming ill because I felt that I wasn’t capable of doing my job. So I left.

I knew things wouldn’t be a bed of roses straight away, but I felt a huge sense of relief at not having to go back into that environment. I had some work and was confident I’d soon have more.

Noticing menopause symptoms

I was sitting at my desk writing one day a few weeks later when the penny dropped. I was feeling relaxed and enjoying my work when I felt a warm feeling start in the pit of my stomach. It gradually moved up my body, front and back until it got to my neck. I felt like I’d been hit by a bus. I cried my heart out for the next 30 minutes or so and had absolutely no idea why. Then, as quickly as it came on, it passed.

After a frantic search on Google, I realised I’d had a hot flush. And then I realised that is what I’d been experiencing at work. And that a lot of how I’d been feeling over the last few years were probably perimenopause symptoms.

What is perimenopause and menopause?

Perimenopause is the time leading up to your periods stopping. Not everyone will experience symptoms during this time, but a lot of people do. These range from being mild to affecting daily life and can start many years before your periods stop. I think I was 45 when I first started experiencing them. I was 49 when I connected the dots.

You reach menopause when you haven’t had a period for 12 months. Symptoms can start many years before you reach menopause and continue afterwards.

The main symptoms of perimenopause

• anxiety
• changes in mood – such as low mood or irritability
• changes in skin conditions, including dryness or increase in oiliness and onset of adult acne
• difficulty sleeping – this may make you feel tired and irritable during the day
• discomfort during sex
• feelings of loss of self
• hair loss or thinning
• headaches or migraines
• hot flushes – short, sudden feelings of heat, usually in the face, neck and chest, which can make your skin red and sweaty
• increase in facial hair
• joint stiffness, aches and pains
• loss of self-confidence
• night sweats – hot flushes that occur at night
• palpitations – heartbeats that suddenly become more noticeable
• problems with memory, concentration and ‘brain fog’
• recurrent urinary tract infections (UTIs), such as cystitis, and for some, this may be linked to bladder changes or incontinence, which makes understanding different types of incontinence especially useful
• reduced sex drive (libido)
• tinnitus
• vaginal dryness and pain

For me, anxiety, hot flushes and brain fog were the worst. But because there was a lot going on in my life during that time (bereavement, becoming a parent again, a global pandemic) I just assumed that everything I was feeling was down to that. Some of it will have been. But I’m pretty sure that the vast majority of the symptoms were due to perimenopause.

I didn’t go to my GP straight away because I wanted to monitor things. Over the next few months, I experienced crippling anxiety for about five days before my period, for a few days after it started until a few days after it stopped. I was getting about a week of feeling ok before the cycle started again.

Talking about menopause

Menopause is still a subject that isn’t talked about enough. Things are getting better and many large companies and Government departments have menopause policies. But they’re only any good if staff and in particular, managers, are aware of them.

The Government department I worked for has one. But I didn’t know that at the time. It’s something that all women should have been made aware of, regardless of their age.

It’s something I’m going to talk to my girls about when they’re older. I didn’t have any conversations with my mum about it either as a teen or adult. Make sure you educate yourself about the symptoms, whatever your age. A lot are common to everyday life. But if you start to experience one or two of them, it’s worth going to speak to your GP.

There isn’t a single test you can take so your GP will take into account things like your menstrual cycle, your age, your symptoms and their severity and regularity. Blood tests won’t conclusively say whether you’re perimenopausal as your hormone levels fluctuate throughout the month.

My GP was lovely. I was convinced she’d say everything I was experiencing was just life and that I should just get on with it. She didn’t. She listened and said that everything pointed to perimenopause.

Treatment for perimenopause and menopause

A lot will depend on your symptoms and the impact they are having on your daily life. Some people find natural remedies, exercise and a change in their diet keep their symptoms at bay.

The most common medication is Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). This involves taking oestrogen because your body stops making as much when you experience peri and menopause. If you have a womb, this must be taken with progesterone to protect the womb lining from the effects of taking oestrogen.

The form it takes varies. I have patches which I replace twice a week. I have two weeks of oestrogen and then two weeks of progesterone patches. They are worn below your waist, stuck to your skin. I find mine work best on my bum cheek or the side of my hip. Depending on your history, you may be prescribed HRT in tablet form or in a coil. Sometimes, people have a combination.

It takes about a month for HRT to start to work, but it can be very effective in controlling symptoms such as hot flushes, brain fog, joint pains, mood swings and vaginal dryness. I honestly felt like a new woman once my patches started to work. It wasn’t until they did that I realised how bad my symptoms had been.

HRT pre-payment certificate

As with all medication, there is a risk. But generally, HRT is an extremely safe treatment for menopause. The cost of receiving it has recently reduced thanks to the introduction of the HRT pre-payment certificate. It costs £19.30 and covers most HRT for a year. That’s a big saving as each of my prescriptions count as two because they contain two different hormones.

Other treatments include anti-depressants, blood pressure or epilepsy medicines, oestrogen tablets or gel (with HRT), cognitive behavioural therapy and testosterone gel. Eating calcium-rich foods such as kale and yoghurts helps to keep your bones healthy.

So, if you think you might be experiencing perimenopause symptoms, make an appointment with your GP. They’ll take through all of your treatment options, including the risks and benefits of each one.

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This is going to be the first of several articles in the coming weeks about menopause. I’m going to start by sharing my experience and future articles will look at treatment options, tips for managing symptoms, and how it can impact our ability to parent.

When we started our adoption journey, I had just turned 40. When our eldest came home, my age didn’t concern me at all. I was a new mum and felt like I had no idea what I was doing!

As we prepared to welcome our youngest daughter, I felt more prepared. Whilst I wouldn’t say I was parent of the year, I felt I knew more about how to be a mum.

I was almost 46 when she came home. Menopause was something I knew the basics of, but I thought it was something that would affect me when I was much older. I therefore didn’t make any connection between the way I felt for a lot of the year leading up to her coming home, and the following few years.

Becoming a mum of two

The first few months after our youngest daughter came home were tough. I put it down to adjusting to being a mum of two. Juggling their very different needs and being in an endless cycle of school runs.

I experienced post-adoption depression but didn’t feel I could talk to our social worker about how I was feeling. We’d had a really difficult road to panel second time around. Our original social worker retired just as things started. She was more like a family friend, and we were gutted she was leaving and therefore couldn’t do our assessment.

Our agency was short-staffed so after a lengthy delay, we were allocated an agency worker who’d never done an adoption assessment before. She only stayed with us until Panel, and then our case was taken over by a manager. Although she was very nice and we had met her a couple of times, she knew very little about us.

So, I didn’t feel I could talk to her about how I was feeling and just carried on. That’s what we do as parents. We just carry on, putting everyone else’s needs before our own. But if we don’t look after ourselves first, we’re going to struggle to be able to meet everyone else’s needs. If you want some ideas about how to deal with the mental load of motherhood, Claire Mac has some great tips.

Looking back, I think that was when I first started experiencing perimenopause symptoms. Things got harder when I went back to work after a year of adoption leave. I put how I was feeling down to that. And learning how to do my job again. And then the pandemic struck. I was living in a constant state of anxiety. But then, wasn’t everyone?

Fast forward a few years, I left my job and was starting a new career as a self-employed writer. Whilst that was terrifying, it was something I’d wanted to do for years. I knew it was going to be hard, but I was excited about the challenge, and leaving behind the stresses of a job I hated.

Connecting my symptoms to perimenopause

I was sitting at my desk one day, a few weeks after I’d left work. I was feeling relaxed and enjoying writing when I felt a sudden wave of heat creep up from my stomach. It moved up to my chest and covered the top of my back too, all the way up to my head. And then I felt anxiety like I’d never experienced before. I started to cry and felt like I was never going to be able to stop. That went on for about an hour. And then, as quickly as it came on, it just went.

This happened again regularly over the next few months, at the same time in my menstrual cycle. I’ve always been very regular, but that had started to change, and my periods were very irregular. It was only then that I started to put everything together.

I had struggled massively at work for about 18 months before I left. I’d lost all my confidence, felt very anxious, and often felt very hot. Because of everything that was going on with the pandemic and various other things in my life, I’d put all of those symptoms down to that. I worked in a courtroom. My job meant I had to wear a suit. I’d regularly experienced what I now know were hot flushes. But because my clothing wasn’t particularly cool, I’d assumed it was just that and the heat from the courtroom which had no windows or air conditioning.

It was only when I was working from home, doing something I really enjoyed, and experienced those things, that I started to think it was something else. I did some Googling and came across Menopause and Me. That’s when everything started to make sense.

I monitored things for a few months to go to the doctors armed with evidence of how I felt at certain times of my cycle. My worst days were just before I came on, and just before I ovulated. Some months, I only had about 5 five or six days of feeling “normal” before the anxiety kicked in again. My cycle ranged from 14 days to 28+ so it was a rollercoaster of a time.

Getting treatment for perimenopause

I’d read some horror stories about GPs not taking symptoms seriously and women being sent away without any help. So, I was very nervous about going to see mine. I burst into tears as soon as I started describing how I’d been feeling and was prepared for a fight to get the help I knew I needed. But I needn’t have worried. My GP was brilliant. She listened intently and agreed that what I’d been experiencing were perimenopausal symptoms.

I practically skipped out of the surgery. We’d talked about the options and agreed that HRT was the best course of action for me. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted.

It’s only now, after three months of HRT, that I’ve realised how long I’ve been experiencing symptoms. It took about a month for the medication to start to work. And once it did, I couldn’t believe the difference.

As women, we often just get on with things and ignore how we’re feeling. Because there were so many other things going on around me, I’d put everything down to that. If I hadn’t left my job when I did, I suspect I’d have continued to suffer in silence.

Perimenopause can look very different from one woman to the next. And because it is something that isn’t talked about that much, we don’t really know what to expect. At least I didn’t. I’ll never know if I would have made the connection between how I was feeling and menopause, if I had the knowledge I have now, five years ago. But I suspect I would.

What are the symptoms of menopause?

There are many, but the most common ones include:

• changes in your periods
• hot flushes, when you have sudden feelings of hot or cold in your face, neck and chest which can make you dizzy
• difficulty sleeping, which may be a result of night sweats and make you feel tired and irritable during the day
• palpitations, when your heartbeats suddenly become more noticeable
• headaches and migraines that are worse than usual
• muscle aches and joint pains
• changed body shape and weight gain
• skin changes including dry and itchy skin
• reduced sex drive
• vaginal dryness and pain, itching or discomfort during sex
• recurrent urinary tract infections (UTIs)
• changes to your mood, like low mood, anxiety, mood swings and low self-esteem
• problems with memory or concentration (brain fog)

A lot of these symptoms are caused by other things. But being aware of them helps you know what to expect. If you start experiencing several of them, it may be worth going for a chat with your GP.

Resources

The NHS website has lots of information and advice and is a good starting point. Menopause and Me is also a great site with a lot of help and support from booklets to coffee catch-up videos.

I’ve been reading Mariella Frostrop’s “Cracking the Menopause: While Keeping Yourself Together” which is blooming brilliant. I wish I’d read it years ago! If there’s one piece of advice I’d give my younger self, it’s that you are never too young to start learning about the menopause. Your future self will be very grateful you started early.