Parenting a child or young person with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities (“SEND”) comes with many challenges, and one of the most stressful is undoubtedly navigating the system of educational support. Parents and carers with no previous experience frequently find themselves thrown into the deep end of meetings, applications and appeals; effectively expected to become experts in SEND law, policy and practice so that they can secure the support that their child or young person needs.

Navigating the complex interlocking structures that make up the SEND system is often emotionally, financially and practically draining, and at times it can be completely overwhelming. This is something that I understand only too well from my own experience advocating for my eldest son, who is autistic and has ADHD. And I speak as someone with two law degrees and almost a decade working as a barrister.

It’s because I know just how challenging it can be to obtain the right support for SEND children and young people as well as just how transformational it can be; for families as well as the children and young people themselves, that I now work supporting parents and carers to navigate the SEND system with confidence, as a SEND advocate through my company SEND Advocacy. 

What is a SEND Advocate?

A SEND Advocate is a professional who works with and on behalf of families to obtain educational support for children and young people with SEND. There is no specific training or qualifications required to be a SEND Advocate, and not all are legally trained. 

A good SEND Advocate will possess substantial knowledge and understanding of the legal and practical aspects of the SEND system, meaning that you can confidently rely on their advice. If you are unsure of their experience, simply ask them. Of course, as a parent or carer, you know your child or young person best, and a good SEND Advocate will draw on your unparalleled expertise to work collaboratively with you, centring your voice and that of your child or young person.

Identifying your child’s needs: How a SEND Advocate can help

Many parents and carers struggle with knowing that something is not quite right, but are uncertain about where to begin. Often, attempts to get support have been rebuffed because a child or young person is considered to be doing fine at school or has difficulties that are not as bad as others. If this is you, don’t be dissuaded from continuing to seek out help.

I work with many families who were initially told that their child or young person didn’t require additional support, when this was patently not the case. I was told this about my own son, who, following my successful advocacy, has now been at an independent specialist school for the past 5 years.

What does a SEND Advocate do?

All SEND Advocates are different, and the services they provide will differ too, so it’s worth checking that they can offer exactly what you need. My company, SEND Advocacy, offers a wide range of personalised services, regardless of whether you are just starting your SEND journey or have been on it for some time. Common areas I support include:

• EHCNA Request. Requesting an Education, Health and Care Needs Assessment (“EHCNA”) is the first step to obtaining an Education and Health Care Plan (“EHC Plan”). An EHC Plan is a legally binding document which outlines a student’s unique support needs, and, done properly, it can provide highly effective support. SEND Advocacy can help you draft a compelling request for you to send to your local authority, or draft one for you.

• EHCNA Refusal to Assess Appeal. If the local authority does not agree to conduct an EHCNA, this does not mean a student doesn’t require additional support. Many children and young people (my own included) are initially refused assessments but then go on to successfully appeal against that refusal.  SEND Advocacy can prepare all of the documents required for an appeal and provide legal, tactical and evidentiary advice.

• EHCP Content Appeal. If, having obtained an EHC Plan, the content does not accurately reflect your child or young person’s needs or the provision required to meet those needs or names an unsuitable placement (or even no placement at all), SEND Advocacy can support you in an appeal. This might include providing advice, preparing documents, liaising with the tribunal and local authority on your behalf and representing you at the Final Hearing.

SEND Advocacy: Learning to do it yourself

I set up SEND Advocacy Academy – online courses for parents and carers in SEND law and practice – to equip parents and carers with the knowledge, skills, strategies, and confidence to become successful advocates in their own right. Find out more about SEND Advocacy Academy and sign up for the free SEND Advocacy newsletter (which regularly shares news, information and resources about all things SEND). SEND Advocacy is also on Facebook and Instagram.

Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about parenting.

I don’t know about you, but I find autumn is a good time to plan for next summer. As the days start to get shorter, the weather turns and nature shows us its true glory with beautiful colours, I love reflecting on what worked well over the summer, what didn’t, and the things that I’d like to buy for next year so that, hopefully, things are easier.

Going to the beach is one of the things we spend a lot of time doing over the spring and summer. This is the first year both kids have been old enough to play with each other with much less input from us. So, I’ve had time to look around and see what bits of kit other parents take to the beach to make their lives easier, think about what we need and make a list of things to save for and buy for next summer.

This post looks at six beach essentials that make trips to the beach in the UK easier, more comfortable and lots of fun. It includes affiliate links to Amazon products and two Wicked Uncle products we were kindly gifted.

Foldable chairs

I know part of the fun of a day at the beach is getting sand everywhere, but if you’re like me and crave a bit of comfort as well as the chance to keep relatively sand-free, a foldable chair is a must. Light-weight camping chairs that come with a carry case are perfect. They’re easy to carry, don’t take up much room in your boot and are relatively comfortable, letting you relax and enjoy some rays while the kids are covering themselves with sand.

Prices start at around £10 from Asda, £15 from Amazon, and up to as much as you want to pay.

Beach essentials for parents: Changing robe

These are a game changer and make transporting the kids back to your accommodation so much easier when they’ve been in the sea. Changing robes are a coat on the outside and a towel on the inside. You can either put the robe on top of your wet swimwear and keep it on until you get home, or they’re big enough so you can get changed wearing it.

The cost of kids changing robes varies massively, starting from under £40 from Amazon, up to over £140 for one from Dry Robe. I’ve got my eye on the Regetta ones for next summer as we saw so many kids wearing them this year and they looked nice and cosy and perfect for wrapping our two up for the walk back to the caravan.

Water toys

Everyone is going to get at least their feet wet at the beach, so it’s the ideal place to let the kids use their water toys. Anything from buckets and spades to water pistols and spray guns are great, as long as they’re lightweight and easy to carry.

We like this Fire Fighter Henry water sprayer as it’s easy for young kids to carry and is the perfect beach toy. Water pistols can be as cheap as a couple of pounds, or more sophisticated options up to around £20.

Easy-to-use sunscreen

Sun cream, sand and kids are often not the best combination, but keeping everyone protected from the sun’s rays is a must for a safe and happy day on the beach. After a lot of trial and error, we’ve found roll-on to be the easiest way of getting the kids protected. Our girls are six and ten and they can both apply the cream themselves using a roll-on (we still supervise to make sure they’ve covered everywhere).

I found buying in bulk the best option as they’re also great for having in their schoolbags and even if the sun isn’t out every day, we still get through quite a lot of them over the spring and summer. We’ve found the Nivea Factor 50 roll-on suits us best as it’s nice and thick and it’s easy for them to see where it’s been applied and where they still need to do. You can get similar ones from supermarkets such as Asda and Sainsbury’s.

Card Games

Sand sandwiches are a Great British tradition and one we try and do at least once every summer. But if you’re kids are anything like ours, they will like going to a beach cafe or pub for lunch or tea on the way home.

Colouring tends not to keep our girls occupied for long so I’ve been looking for something that’s easy to carry and simple to do and this Polar Panic card game fits the bill perfectly. It’s simple enough that our six-year-old can join in and is engaging enough for the 10-year-old. The game comes with rules, but when we’ve played it, we’ve tended to make up our own (or rather our youngest does!). It comes in a lovely metal tin so it’s quick and easy to clear away when your food arrives!

Physical games

If you’re looking for an easy activity for the beach that’s lightweight and easy to carry, these Air Squares flying discs from Wicked Uncle are brilliant. They can be used just like a Frisbee; the sleek, square aerodynamic design enables impressive distances with a range of 100m and features a soft, cushioned rubber rim for easy, safe catching. Perfect for burning off energy and keeping the kids occupied.

What are your go-to beach and holiday essentials? Leave a comment and let me know.

Head over to the parenting section to read the latest articles and tips.

I can still remember the feeling of trapping my arm in a car door as a child.

I remember the excitement of opening a bike and a mini keyboard on Christmas morning.

I remember the embarrassment, anxiety and sadness of being bullied at secondary school after dyeing my hair, with children singing the Fraggle Rock theme song at me for days.

The events themselves happened decades ago, yet I can still recall them vividly.

Why?

Because I remember how they made me feel.

Why feelings matter

Feelings give experiences meaning. They help shape how we see ourselves, others and the world around us. They can influence the choices we make, the risks we take and the stories we carry about who we are.

Yet growing up in the 1980s, I’m not sure anyone ever really explored my feelings with me. At times, they felt muddled, overwhelming and messy. Looking back, I often had to make sense of them on my own.

Perhaps that’s why I grew into an adult who felt things deeply.

Like many people, I’ve experienced panic attacks, comfort eating and periods where worry has made it difficult to switch off. I’ve watched friends, family members and colleagues struggle with their mental health. I’ve seen first-hand the impact emotional distress can have on children, young people and adults alike.

One experience that has never left me involved a young child who had taken an overdose and required urgent medical treatment. Watching a room full of professionals trying desperately to keep that child safe was heartbreaking.

It reinforced something I now believe strongly:

Feelings matter.

Not because they are always comfortable, but because they are always communicating something.

As an Early Childhood Studies graduate, childcare practitioner, lecturer and assessor, I spent years supporting children and families. Yet it wasn’t until I became an adoptive parent that my understanding of feelings was challenged in entirely new ways.

Feelings in adoption

When my daughter came home, I expected big emotions.

What I didn’t expect was the intensity.

The anger.

The anxiety.

The sleepless nights.

The school struggles.

The behaviours that often appeared bigger than the feelings underneath them.

Like many adoptive parents, I immersed myself in therapeutic parenting approaches and attachment-based support. These were invaluable, but there were times when I still felt stuck.

I wasn’t looking for a quick fix.

I was looking for ways to help my daughter understand herself.

To help her make sense of what was happening inside her body and mind.

To help her feel heard.

Helping adopted children to feel heard

Whilst waiting for specialist support, I discovered parent-led approaches that encouraged children to explore and process their emotions. At first, I felt frustrated that the responsibility seemed to return to me as the parent yet again.

But over time, I realised something important.

My role was never to fix my daughter’s feelings.

My role was to hold space for them.

That realisation changed everything.

It led me to create My Story, My Way, a resource designed specifically for adopted children.

I wanted my daughter to physically hold messages that reminded her she was safe, loved and that all feelings were welcome.

Not just the happy ones.

The complicated ones, too.

The confused ones.

The angry ones.

The sad ones.

Because feelings do not become less important simply because we ignore them.

Creative expression

Many adults struggle to identify what they are feeling. We go quiet when we’re overwhelmed. We snap when we’re stressed. We avoid things that make us anxious. We comfort ourselves with food, scrolling or distraction.

Children are no different.

Often, they simply communicate their feelings in different ways.

This is where creative expression became so important in our family.

Not every child can sit down and explain exactly how they feel.

In fact, many adults can’t either.

But children can draw.

They can paint.

They can create.

They can tell stories.

They can show us things they cannot yet put into words.

Some of the most powerful conversations I’ve had with my daughter have happened whilst drawing, painting or creating together.

Creativity creates safety.

It removes pressure.

It allows feelings to emerge naturally.

And when that happens, something remarkable occurs.

Helping children feel understood

Children begin to feel understood.

What started with one resource for one little girl has now grown into Wild Hearts Creative.

Today, our resources support children navigating anxiety, family separation, grief, confidence challenges, school transitions, adoption, hospital stays, friendship difficulties and many of life’s other big moments.

Not because we have all the answers.

But because every child deserves opportunities to express themselves, explore their experiences and feel heard.

The truth is that we cannot protect children from every difficult feeling.

Nor should we.

Sadness, disappointment, fear, frustration and uncertainty are all part of being human.

What we can do is help children understand that feelings are not something to fear.

They are something to notice.

Something to explore.

Something to move through.

And perhaps if we can help children do that, we give them something far more valuable than happiness.

We give them the confidence to trust themselves, whatever life brings.

Because feelings felt in childhood can last a lifetime.

But so can the experience of being understood.

About Wild Hearts Creative

Gem Mullings is the creator of Wild Hearts Creative, which was born from a deep belief that children deserve gentle, meaningful ways to express what is happening inside them, especially when words feel hard to find.

With a degree in Early Childhood Studies and years of experience supporting children and families through childcare, education and family support, she has always been drawn to the emotional world of children and how feelings often show themselves through play, behaviour, movement, creativity and connection long before a child can fully explain them.

As an adoptive parent, she knows how important emotional safety, belonging and creative expression can be for children navigating big feelings, identity and life experiences.

Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about adoption, parenting and wellbeing.

As Mary Poppins once said, “Let’s start at the very beginning.”

School!

The signs were there, I just didn’t know it.

I hated school. There are well-told stories in our family of me being an “anxious child”, crying in the mornings before school, even as early as nursery school, and my mum getting a heads-up from the teacher as I came out of school that all was not well.

The thing is, in school, I was compliant, desperate to do the right thing, and worked really, really hard. But I felt anxious all the time. I was described as anxious by family and teachers, and I grew up thinking I was the problem. I needed to be less anxious somehow. But I had no idea how. I just thought I needed to try harder.

It wasn’t until I was well into my 30s that a counsellor told me, “You aren’t an anxious person; something is making you anxious.” That really clicked for me. It somehow externalised the issue, stopped the self-blame and negative self-talk, and started something in me that wanted to look into why.

My learning journey

Learning at school was tough. My friends from school days will probably read this and think, “What?”, thinking I had it all together and was doing OK with my learning. In fact, I passed all my GCSEs, got two A-levels and went to university.

But if you look at how that all happened, you’ll begin to see a picture, reinforcing that well-known saying, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.”

I had two parents who were teachers. I was being coached in the background. The hours my dad spent with me learning my spellings, only for the teacher to test them out of order, for me to get them wrong, and then have to stand on my chair. I was almost sick before spelling tests.

I hated reading and reading aloud in class, which had me literally shaking.

When it was my turn to ask a question in class, I would have to repeat it over and over in my head so I wouldn’t forget, and even then, I would still misunderstand it.

I developed the most creative masking and avoidance skills.

Making lists

Even as young as seven years old, I can remember making lists. These weren’t just any old lists; they were intricate, step-by-step plans of the day and all the things I needed to do. I now know that was more to do with my working memory than anything else. I still make lists; I forget to look at them a lot of the time, but they reduce my anxiety.

And I learnt to disappear in the classroom. I kept my head down, did my homework and tried my hardest to stay under the radar.

GCSEs I did OK in, a combination of working really hard, help at home, and having a great English and maths teacher. Funnily enough, other kids didn’t like their style, but they described things in a way that just made sense to me.

For A-levels, I took Biology, PE and Art. Nothing required a lot of essay writing. And I still failed one of them.

I then completed a degree in Occupational Therapy, where a big chunk of the marks came from practical placements.

Learning to play to my strengths

I’d adapted and played to my strengths in order to get through an education system that didn’t see me, without even knowing that was what I was doing.

The academic challenges were only part of the story; carrying the belief that I wasn’t quite good enough was the part that stayed with me.

But the cost? That was something different.

Anxiety. Self-doubt. Low self-confidence. A fear of putting myself out there. Looking back, I feel I missed opportunities.

That all sounds deep and depressing and, given the choice, would I like to have known I was dyslexic when I was younger?

Yes, I would.

Do I think it would have made a difference?

Yes, I do.

However, I know now.

Dyslexia diagnosis: Knowledge, confidence and strength

I am more confident than I have ever been. Sure, the anxiety still creeps in, but I would never have believed you if you’d told me that one day I would have my own podcast and be speaking on stages.

My diagnosis brought me knowledge, and with that knowledge came strengths, confidence and realisation. It didn’t make me feel less or create a label for me that was somehow negative.

It gave me a better understanding of who I am, why I find some things difficult, why I am great at other things, and then gave me permission to lean wholeheartedly into my strengths.

Work became easier. Life became easier.

Because if we don’t have a name for our needs, we either create one for ourselves or others do it for us, and nine times out of ten, those labels aren’t positive.

For years, my label was “anxious”.

The reality was that I was a dyslexic child trying to navigate a world that didn’t yet understand me, and more importantly, I didn’t understand myself.

Liz Evans is an award-winning, dyslexic occupational therapist, speaker and podcast host behind The Untypical OT. Her work centres around burnout protection through a neuroaffirming, trauma-aware and sensory-responsive lens, supporting parents, professionals, solopreneurs and event organisers to find more sustainable ways of living and working.

Both professionally and through lived experience as a mum in an additional needs family, she’s seen how burnout often grows when people are constantly adapting to environments that weren’t designed with them in mind. Occupational therapy helps us understand what’s really driving exhaustion and overwhelm, and make practical changes that support real rest, recovery and ease, not just more coping.

You can find out more about Liz from her website or follow her on Instagram, or on LinkedIn.

FAQs about Dyslexia: The cost of not knowing

Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about adoption, parenting and wellbeing.

For adopted children, separation anxiety often stems from circumstances far beyond their control. Being removed from their biological family, and then foster carers, leaves children feeling anxious when they are separated from their new caregivers.

New experiences and situations can be particularly difficult to manage for adopted children, such as starting school or moving into a new class. We can do a lot to help with this before the start of a new term, such as visiting the new school/classroom/teacher. We found regular walks to her new school in the couple of weeks before she started, and helped our youngest familiarise herself with the route and routine.

Separation anxiety is difficult for a child, but it’s also distressing for parents. There’s nothing worse than leaving your child in tears at nursery or school. Even if they settle quickly after that, it’s something I struggled with when our youngest daughter was unsettled at nursery.

Managing new situations is something all children have to experience. As parents, although we’d love to be able to take away any anxiety about a new situation, we can’t. But we can use techniques and props to help our children manage their feelings.

Here are five tips recommended by parents to help manage separation anxiety:

Talking

As our daughter gets older, we’ve all learned how to manage separation better. A big part of this has been talking. We talk through what’s going to happen in advance of the new situation, and if she’s got questions I can’t answer, I’ll find out and tell her.

Knowing which door to use, where to hang her coat, and where the loos are, are all things that help her manage her anxiety. We try not to force conversations and talk about things when she wants to. Like a lot of children though, she tends to bottle it up and her anxiety comes out in anger. So we often talk things through once she’s calmer and is able to express what she’s worried about.

We’ve found the school website a great starting point for conversations. There are some photos of classrooms and we talk about where hers is going to be and how she’ll get there.

Smells

We’ve found familiar smells work really well for our eldest. She has a spray of my favourite perfume on her wrist and on her clothing. This helps her to feel safe and know that I’m with her, even when I’m not there physically.

We use this technique not just for school, but any situation where she’s nervous about something new. It’s a discrete way of helping her feel safe as no-one else knows what the smell means to her.

Physical things

We used this technique for the first time last year. Covid meant there were no physical visits to her new classroom. This was particularly hard for our daughter as she was moving up into juniors. It’s a completely separate school which she wasn’t familiar with at all.

I bought her this lovely badge from Clara and Macy which I ironed on the inside of her school cardigan. It worked a treat. It gave her a little boost whenever she needed it. And she also used it to help her friends. One of her friend’s mum stopped me in the yard and said our daughter had let her daughter hug her badge when she was missing her mum in the first few days of the new term which I thought was lovely.

You can also buy the design as a pin or with different versions of mum and dad. Click here to see all of their designs. They’re such a simple idea, and a brilliant way of helping your child remember you’re always close.

Wrist drawing

A lot of parents find drawing a heart of something similar on their child’s wrist and their wrist, helps with separation anxiety. Depending on your child’s age, they could draw something on your hand or wrist, and then you do the same on theirs. It’s a simple and effective reminder for them throughout the day, that you’re with them.

The drawing on their wrist could also be used as a hug button. When you’re child is feeling anxious or worried when they’re apart from you, they can touch the drawing and imagine a hug from you. A lot of parents say this works well for their child.

Books

I’m a huge lover of using books to help my kids understand something new. There are some great picture storybooks available about starting school and managing separation anxiety.

Without a doubt, our favourite is “The Invisible String” written by Patrice Karst. It’s a beautiful story about two children who were worried about sleeping on their own. Their mum told them about the invisible string which always connects them.

We went through a stage where this was the only book our eldest wanted to read at bedtime. She absolutely loved it, and we still talk about the concept of our invisible string that connects us, even when we’re apart.

Read my review of the book and The Invisible String is available to buy from a range of outlets such as like Amazon.

Transition box

Creating a transition box is a great way of helping your child feel safe and secure, and understanding they’re still connected to you and home when they’re at school. The box doesn’t need to be big, just something you can put in things you’ve made together at home. You could make things specifically for it, or use things you made together that you’re child has kept.

Your child can then add in things to the box that they’ve made at school for you.

Make sure you speak to the school or nursery first to agree that your child can bring a box in. Some schools don’t allow children to bring things in from home so if that’s the case at your child’s school, you’ll need to get permission beforehand.

If you’d like some more tips and advice about managing school year transitions, read Emma Spillane’s article, which is packed full of tips and advice.

Head to the homepage to read the latest parenting articles.

Please note that this article contains affiliate links to Etsy and Amazon. That means if you click on the link and go on to buy the products, I get paid a fee from the store.

Adopting a child with ADHD can be absolutely joyous. However, there are often challenges when it comes to sleep, as it’s often overlooked when it comes to ADHD. It’s a 24/7 disorder, and a child’s brain doesn’t stop when it is time to sleep.

But the good news is, there are lots of holistic tools and approaches you can embed to support them! I’m Jade, an infant and child sleep consultant and ADHD sleep awareness practitioner, and these are my tips to help you support your child to a better night’s sleep.

Structure around evenings

I often recommend separating the evening routine from the bedtime routine. Adopting new practices at this time can help when it is time to sleep.

For example:

• Evening walks after dinner or proprioceptive exercises can be great for their nervous system regulation. Plus, fresh air helps sleep, too!
• Reducing screen time. This often goes without saying, but depending on the age and stage of the child (social media/video game influence), these could be having a bigger impact on the evenings and nights.
• Journaling can be a great tool for children who feel more anxious or struggle to wind down at bedtime due to busy thoughts. Getting those all out way ahead of bedtime can help with the rewiring during their wind-down for sleep.
• To-do lists – help for those moments when they are in bed and suddenly need to “still do that thing”. Embed it into the evening routine, and they get a dopamine hit from ticking off the list!

The Bedtime Routine

Predictability and consistency are both key here. Consistency is important, as if things are too fluid, many kids will want to deviate from the normal routine. Here are some tips to support this.

• Routine charts – this helps keep everyone accountable (us as caregivers, too!) to keep things steady and consistent.
• Sensory input is important, and all children are different when it comes to sound, light and sensory needs. Find out what your child’s preferences are here. If using a night light, I recommend a red/amber tone, as blue and white lights can alter their melatonin production.
• Other tools could include belly breathing meditation techniques! I highly recommend listening to the “Your Floating Bed” podcast on Spotify.

Support for Children with ADHD: Sleep Pressure

Many ADHD children are time-sensitive, which means weekend lie-ins may make it difficult for them to sleep on a Sunday evening before they need to get up for school on Monday. To alleviate this, try to keep wake timings within a 20-minute window.

Many children with ADHD suffer from delayed sleep phase disorder. This affects their time when they fall asleep, which is outside the societal norms (early bedtime and early wake for school). One of the best things you can do here if push bedtime out to help rewire their feeling that “sleep is hard” before bringing it earlier again.

Look at External Factors

Like adults, there are often external factors which influence children’s sleep. For example, social dynamics, new anxieties, a change in diet or medications. If there are other factors at play, this could be impacting your child’s ability to wind down in the evening.

Keep a good diet, and if sleep changes have happened since changing medication, then it’s a good idea to speak to their GP to review this.

Also, try to dive deep with your child. What else is going on? Having those conversations around sleep is really important, but so is their day-to-day lives and habits, as changes in these can affect their ability to switch off at night.

Manage Expectations

Progress may be gradual, and often is! Some kids will take to new tools (new eye masks, weighted blankets etc) well, as it brings them that shiny object dopamine hit. But when it comes to anxieties and building up their confidence, this will take a bit longer. Make your changes gradually rather than feeling you can just get straight out of the room. Give them small snippets of independence before building this up.

It may also be that you are noticing the lack of sleep is impacting their focus, emotions and irrational behaviours even more. They might be feeling this too. Communication around sleep can be key for you all to unlock what tools or changes you can put in place.

We want to create a safe space for our children to help them thrive. A place where they can be open and honest in their challenges and be given full support. Bring these conversations earlier in the evening, which allows you space to build their confidence at bedtime with positive encouragement in their own safe place.

To find out how Beyond the Stars can help to support your sleep journey, visit their website or follow on Instagram.

Head to the parenting section to read more articles about sleep support.

Managing school year transitions (Part I) – supporting endings from home

It’s that time of year for schools in England and Wales when staff are ramping up transition arrangements for the next academic year, and our children may be showing us in a variety of ways that they are unsettled by this. It’s been a difficult end to this school year with so many children in and out of self-isolation, which has made the usual implementation of transition plans within school that much more difficult.

For children who’ve experienced trauma, this time of year (coming towards the end of term) can be especially hard – those feelings of loss, of significant change, can resurface and can lead to heightened anxiety. For them (and for so many others, especially off the back of another up and down year thanks to Covid), how endings are supported is just as important as everything that goes into preparing them for new beginnings (whether that be going up a school year, or transitioning from nursery to primary, primary to secondary, or secondary to college).

What parents can do to help to help school year transitions

Here are just a few considerations you may find useful to support your child through the end of this final summer term.

Hopefully school is working with you to ensure that a clear transition plan is in place and underway, based on your child’s specific needs, so you’ve had some input, know what to expect and when – use this to talk to your child at home about it at the right time for them.

Transition plan

Check that your child’s transition plan includes going back to basics with things like knowing where the nearest toilet to their new classroom is, where they will put their bag, where they will put their water bottle, how safe the classroom is – things that can cause real anxiety for children who’ve experienced trauma can be around basic needs.

Contact from new teacher

Ask the next teacher if they would be happy to send an email (or postcard) to your child around a week before the start of the next term to tell them a bit about their summer break, and to say how much they are looking forward to welcoming them to their class. Obviously this suggestion comes with a caveat that teachers need a break over the summer and this request may be over and above the usual kind of request they might receive from parents.

Help them share their worries

Open up a space for your child to share their worries – you will know best how to do that, but always worth remembering the power of play for connecting up with feelings, or of just taking small opportunities to check in from time to time, being curious with them. They may also prefer to write their worries down and pop them in a jar; or for older children, maybe they might be encouraged to journal, or write a blog that never gets published?

Start a dialogue

Start a dialogue with the next class teacher where possible (if different to the current one), share your insights, concerns and hopes for the start of the new year, and agree the best mode of communication going forward – preferred modes can differ between teachers, so it’s useful to have that discussion in advance of the next school year, when everything can be a bit frenetic.

Saying goodbye

Check there will be an opportunity for your child to say goodbye properly to key staff and their peers so there is a clear end point to the year where the teacher communicates what will happen after the summer holiday once again. Getting your child/young person involved in writing in or making thank you cards to hand over can be a good opportunity to support clear messaging around this end point so they are involved in saying thank you in their own way.

Ask their teacher if it might be possible for them to pop in at the beginning of next term to say hello. Children who’ve experienced loss can feel endings particularly keenly, but messaging in the vein of ‘you’ll be moving on to a different teacher after the holidays, but I value our teacher-pupil relationship and will still be around even if you’re not in my class anymore – I still care’, or similar, can be very reassuring.

Consider whether a small photo of their current teacher and/or a small transition item of some kind might be helpful for your child to take away with them at the end of term.

New classroom and staff

Similarly, ask for photos of the next class and of the future key staff that you can look at with your child/young person as appropriate over the summer – helps with familiarisation. Even better, if school can do a quick video showing the classroom, maybe even walking the route from the school entrance to the classroom too, that’s a bonus (especially for those who were unable to visit their new classroom due to bubbles isolating at the end of term).

The Invisible String

With younger children, read the book The Invisible String (or sit down with them and enjoy this recording of it) and explore the concept of everyone being connected, even when not together.

Manage your expectations with ends and starts of terms – if your child is older and has been with you a while, you’ll know the drill, and you’ll know that these are waves to ride out as we support our children with navigating their way through another change the best way we can. Look after yourselves.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I hope helpful. Sending you all good wishes.

Emma Spillane is a qualified teacher, adoptive parent and attachment & trauma trainer who works with schools to support them on their journey towards becoming trauma-sensitive. More information about how she works with schools and the training and consultancy she offers can be found on her website

If you enjoyed reading this article, why not buy me a coffee to help support the magazine? If you’d like to read more articles about adoption, health and well-being, and parenting, head over to the home page and have a look at what’s new.

In this article, Jen Marshall, an independent shoe retailer at Rainbow Bay, shares why getting the right fit is so important so your child is comfortable whenever they wear their new shoes.

A guide to children’s shoe fitting

Buying children’s shoes can seem like a quick task; measure, choose, and go. But a well-fitting shoe is about far more than just ticking a box on a shopping list. It plays a vital role in a child’s comfort, development, and confidence every single day.

Children’s feet are constantly growing and changing. Poorly fitting shoes can lead to discomfort, blisters, and even longer-term issues with posture and walking patterns. Shoes that are too tight may restrict natural growth, while those that are too loose can cause instability. The right fit allows children to move freely, play comfortably, and explore their world without distraction.

This is where professional measuring and fitting make all the difference. While foot gauges are a helpful starting point, they only tell part of the story. A trained fitter will look beyond simple measurements, assessing how a child stands and walks, how the foot moves inside the shoe, and whether there is enough room for natural growth. Small details, like arch support, ankle stability, and toe space, can all have a big impact on how a shoe feels throughout the day.

Why choose an independent shoe retailer?

Independent shoe retailers offer a particularly valuable service. Because we work with a range of brands, we’re able to focus on finding the best fit for each individual child, rather than relying on a single sizing system. Different brands suit different foot shapes, and having that variety means a much better chance of finding a shoe that truly fits well and feels comfortable.

Just as importantly, independent retailers take the time to ensure the shoe feels right, not just that it measures correctly. We understand that every child is different and that comfort, confidence, and ease of movement matter just as much as size.

At Rainbow Bay, we’ve created a calm but fun shopping environment where children can feel relaxed and at ease while being fitted. Our well-trained team takes the time to get to know each child, offering a personalised fitting experience that goes beyond numbers and focuses on what truly feels right. We believe that choosing shoes should be a positive experience for both children and their grown-ups.

Taking the time to visit a specialist fitter may feel like an extra step, but it’s one that can make a lasting difference. When shoes fit properly, children can focus on what really matters: playing, learning, and growing with confidence.

Rainbow Bay is based in Whitley Bay.

FAQs About children’s shoe fitting

Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about parenting, adoption and wellbeing.

There’s a moment, usually somewhere between late primary school and the start of secondary, where you realise something has shifted. It might be the sudden interest in skincare, the bathroom shelf slowly filling up, or the quiet horror of spotting ingredients you can’t pronounce in products that definitely weren’t designed with young skin in mind.

That was me.

I started to notice my daughter becoming more aware of her skin – a few breakouts, a bit of oiliness, the normal changes that come with growing up. But alongside that came something else: influence. Advice from friends, things she’d seen online, products being recommended that promised quick fixes and flawless results.

And if I’m honest, that’s what worried me. Because teenage skin doesn’t need fixing, it needs looking after.

And while girls often seem to fall into skincare earlier, boys are absolutely part of this too – whether it’s the first signs of acne, post-sports skin, or just learning the basics of looking after themselves. They might not always ask for help in the same way, but their skin needs just as much care and protection.

Why teen skin needs a different approach

Teenage skin is still developing. Hormones are shifting, oil production can fluctuate, and the skin barrier – the protective outer layer – can be more sensitive than we realise.

What I hadn’t fully appreciated before is how easy it is to disrupt that balance.

A lot of the products marketed to teens (or found via social media) are actually designed for adult skin. They often contain strong acids, active ingredients, or harsh treatments aimed at resurfacing or ‘correcting’ the skin.

On young skin, that can do more harm than good. Dryness, irritation, and overproduction of oil. More breakouts, not fewer.

It becomes a cycle.

What teenage skin really needs is much simpler:

• gentle cleansing
• light hydration
• protection
• and consistency

Not a complicated routine or a cupboard full of products. Just a few things that support the skin rather than fight it.

Looking after teenage skin: Finding something I could trust

I made it my mission to find teen-skin-friendly products I could be confident handing over to my children. As a result, I started looking more closely at what my daughter was actually using – and what I felt comfortable with her putting on her skin every day.

I wanted products that were:

• gentle and nourishing
• suitable for sensitive or changing skin
• simple enough to build a routine around
• and made with ingredients I felt good about

That’s what led me to Tropic.

What stood out straight away was their approach. There’s no push for complicated routines or harsh treatments. Instead, the focus is on supporting the skin barrier, keeping things balanced, and working with the skin rather than against it.

And as a parent, that felt like a huge relief.

Building a simple skincare routine that actually works

We kept things intentionally simple – yes, I joined her with a new skincare routine because why not?

A gentle cleanse at the end of the day to remove dirt, sweat, and the general build-up that comes with school, sports, and life.

A light moisturiser to keep her skin comfortable without feeling heavy or greasy.

And SPF in the morning – something I’m now slightly evangelical about, because protecting young skin early on really does matter. And this isn’t just a ‘for girls’ step. Boys, especially those spending time outdoors or playing sports, need that same daily protection, even if they’d never choose it themselves without a bit of encouragement.

For occasional breakouts, we added a targeted treatment rather than overloading her whole face with strong products.

That’s it.

I don’t think either one of us would have stuck with a ten-step routine at that point. We stayed away from the actives for her (I’m a different story!) and it felt really simple.

And interestingly, once things were simplified, her skin settled.

Simple teen skincare: What we actually use

If you’re wondering what this looks like in practice, these are the products we’ve found work really well for keeping things simple and supportive:

• Hydrating Cleanser – a gentle, everyday cleanser that keeps skin clean without stripping it
• Clarifying Cleanser – great for breakout-prone areas or occasional congestion
• Morning Mist – a light hydrating mist that replenishes moisture instantly and keeps skin comfortably hydrated throughout the day. Great for teens who don’t need heavy serums yet.
• Fresh Waves – a lightweight moisturiser that helps balance oil and keep skin calm
• Sun Day SPF 50 – daily protection that feels comfortable on the skin (and one I encourage everyone to use, boys included)
• Ocean Dive – used as a targeted treatment when spots appear

For teens who are just starting out, the Skincare Discovery Kit is also a really nice way to try a simple routine without feeling overwhelmed.

Looking after teen skin: Confidence, not perfection

There’s another layer to this, especially with teenagers.

Skincare isn’t just about skin. It’s tied up with confidence, identity, and how they see themselves. Wanting to take care of their skin is a positive thing. It shows awareness, independence, and self-care. But the messaging they’re exposed to can sometimes push them towards perfection rather than health.

What I’ve tried to focus on with my daughter is that your skin doesn’t need to be perfect.

It just needs to be cared for.

We’ve established a simple routine, using products that are kind to her skin, and she knows that breakouts, changes, and ‘off days’ are completely normal.

A gentler way forward

I totally understand that skincare for teenagers can feel like a minefield – balancing your child’s growing independence with your instinct to protect them.

For me, the shift came when I stopped trying to control what she was interested in and instead focused on guiding it. Helping her understand her skin, keeping things simple and choosing products that support rather than strip.

A little note from me

I didn’t set out to become a Tropic ambassador.

I started using the products because I wanted something I could trust on my own skin – and more importantly, something I felt completely comfortable handing over to my children. Once we’d been using them for a while and I could see the difference, it just felt like a natural next step.

If I’m going to recommend something, it has to be something I genuinely believe in, and this is.

If you’re navigating teen skincare in your own home and want to ask anything, I’m always happy to chat. You can drop me an email or come and say hello on Instagram.

And if you’d like to have a browse of the products we use, you can find everything on my Tropics website.

Teen Skin FAQs

Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about adoption, parenting and wellbeing.

There’s a moment many parents will recognise.

It might happen after a school event when photos are shared online, or at a birthday party when another parent posts a group picture. Or it may come quietly at home, when a child asks:

 “Why can’t I be in the photo like everyone else?”

For some families, particularly those with adopted or previously looked-after children, this question carries extra weight. Photography is no longer just about capturing memories; it’s about protecting identity, privacy, and sometimes even safety.

Why Privacy Matters

We live in a world where images are shared instantly and widely. A single photograph posted online can be saved, reshared, and viewed far beyond its intended audience. For most families, this is simply part of modern life. But for others, it can present real risks.

Children who are adopted or have been in care may have safeguarding considerations that make public visibility unsafe. In some cases, there may be individuals from a child’s past who should not be able to locate them. Even small details, such as a school logo, a recognisable street, or a familiar landmark, can reveal more than intended.

For these families, choosing not to share identifiable images is not about secrecy. It is about protection.

The Emotional Impact: Wanting to Belong

While the reasons for privacy are clear to adults, they can feel confusing to children.

Through both my work and my personal connections with adoptive families, I’ve seen how these questions can begin to surface as children grow older.

Children naturally want to belong. They want to be part of the class photo, to appear on the school website, and to see themselves reflected in family memories. As they become more aware of differences, they may start to question why their image is treated differently from their peers.

This is where sensitivity is key. Explaining boundaries in an age-appropriate way, framing them as a form of care and protection, can help. But it’s equally important to find ways for children to feel included, even when certain limits are in place.

Practical Ways to Keep Children Safe in Photographs

There are simple, thoughtful ways to balance safety with inclusion:

• Photograph from behind or use side profiles

• Focus on details such as hands, interactions, or moments of connection

• Avoid identifiable features like school logos, house numbers, or street signs

• Be mindful of backgrounds that could reveal location

• Share images privately through secure platforms rather than public social media

These approaches allow children to be part of the story without compromising their safety.

Photographing Children Safely: Navigating Everyday Situations

Managing photography in shared environments such as schools, nurseries, clubs and parties can be one of the biggest challenges.

Many settings now have policies for children who cannot be photographed, but these can sometimes lead to unintentional exclusion. Open conversations with teachers, caregivers, and other parents can help create safer, more inclusive alternatives.

Simple adjustments, like positioning a child differently in a group photo or ensuring images are shared only within closed groups, can make a meaningful difference.

Preparing Children for a Photography Session

For some children, particularly those who may feel unsure around new people or environments, a photography session can feel daunting. This is something I am always deeply mindful of in my work.

 My sessions are entirely led by the baby or child. Some arrive full of confidence and ready to explore, while others need a little more time and that is completely okay.

Before each session, I ask parents to complete a short form to help me get to know their child. Learning about their favourite song, a much-loved cartoon character or even their best friend at nursery gives me a starting point for connection.

Something as simple as playing a familiar song or chatting about a favourite character can help a child begin to relax. Trust builds gently, at their pace.

Creating a calm, pressure-free environment is essential. There is no expectation for a child to perform or behave in a certain way. Instead, I follow their lead—allowing space for them to feel safe, comfortable, and themselves.

This approach not only supports more natural photographs but also ensures that the experience itself feels positive and reassuring for both the child and their family.

The Role of the Photographer

As photographers, we have a responsibility that goes far beyond taking beautiful images.

Consent is at the heart of everything I do. I would never share a child’s image without clear permission from a parent or guardian. For some families, the safest option is not to share images publicly at all, and that choice is always respected.

When needed, I adapt my approach creatively, capturing connection, emotion, and storytelling without revealing identity. Often, these images where faces are hidden hold just as much meaning. They show closeness, personality, and love, without compromising safety.

Celebrating Children Safely

Every child deserves to feel seen, valued, and included.

Protecting a child’s identity doesn’t mean removing them from the picture. It simply means approaching photography with thought, care, and intention.

Whether through private albums, secure sharing, or creative composition, there are always ways to celebrate children while keeping them safe.

Because in the end, it’s not just about the photograph itself, it’s about protecting a child’s story, while still allowing it to be told. 

Lucy is a newborn, baby and family photographer and runs Little Lens Photography Studio based in East Devon. She specialises in capturing special family moments to create lasting memories.

Photographing Children Safely FAQs

Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about adoption, parenting and wellbeing.