Managing school year transitions (Part I) – supporting endings from home

It’s that time of year for schools in England and Wales when staff are ramping up transition arrangements for the next academic year, and our children may be showing us in a variety of ways that they are unsettled by this. It’s been a difficult end to this school year with so many children in and out of self-isolation, which has made the usual implementation of transition plans within school that much more difficult.

For children who’ve experienced trauma, this time of year (coming towards the end of term) can be especially hard – those feelings of loss, of significant change, can resurface and can lead to heightened anxiety. For them (and for so many others, especially off the back of another up and down year thanks to Covid), how endings are supported is just as important as everything that goes into preparing them for new beginnings (whether that be going up a school year, or transitioning from nursery to primary, primary to secondary, or secondary to college).

What parents can do to help to help school year transitions

Here are just a few considerations you may find useful to support your child through the end of this final summer term.

Hopefully school is working with you to ensure that a clear transition plan is in place and underway, based on your child’s specific needs, so you’ve had some input, know what to expect and when – use this to talk to your child at home about it at the right time for them.

Transition plan

Check that your child’s transition plan includes going back to basics with things like knowing where the nearest toilet to their new classroom is, where they will put their bag, where they will put their water bottle, how safe the classroom is – things that can cause real anxiety for children who’ve experienced trauma can be around basic needs.

Contact from new teacher

Ask the next teacher if they would be happy to send an email (or postcard) to your child around a week before the start of the next term to tell them a bit about their summer break, and to say how much they are looking forward to welcoming them to their class. Obviously this suggestion comes with a caveat that teachers need a break over the summer and this request may be over and above the usual kind of request they might receive from parents.

Help them share their worries

Open up a space for your child to share their worries – you will know best how to do that, but always worth remembering the power of play for connecting up with feelings, or of just taking small opportunities to check in from time to time, being curious with them. They may also prefer to write their worries down and pop them in a jar; or for older children, maybe they might be encouraged to journal, or write a blog that never gets published?

Start a dialogue

Start a dialogue with the next class teacher where possible (if different to the current one), share your insights, concerns and hopes for the start of the new year, and agree the best mode of communication going forward – preferred modes can differ between teachers, so it’s useful to have that discussion in advance of the next school year, when everything can be a bit frenetic.

Saying goodbye

Check there will be an opportunity for your child to say goodbye properly to key staff and their peers so there is a clear end point to the year where the teacher communicates what will happen after the summer holiday once again. Getting your child/young person involved in writing in or making thank you cards to hand over can be a good opportunity to support clear messaging around this end point so they are involved in saying thank you in their own way.

Ask their teacher if it might be possible for them to pop in at the beginning of next term to say hello. Children who’ve experienced loss can feel endings particularly keenly, but messaging in the vein of ‘you’ll be moving on to a different teacher after the holidays, but I value our teacher-pupil relationship and will still be around even if you’re not in my class anymore – I still care’, or similar, can be very reassuring.

Consider whether a small photo of their current teacher and/or a small transition item of some kind might be helpful for your child to take away with them at the end of term.

New classroom and staff

Similarly, ask for photos of the next class and of the future key staff that you can look at with your child/young person as appropriate over the summer – helps with familiarisation. Even better, if school can do a quick video showing the classroom, maybe even walking the route from the school entrance to the classroom too, that’s a bonus (especially for those who were unable to visit their new classroom due to bubbles isolating at the end of term).

The Invisible String

With younger children, read the book The Invisible String (or sit down with them and enjoy this recording of it) and explore the concept of everyone being connected, even when not together.

Manage your expectations with ends and starts of terms – if your child is older and has been with you a while, you’ll know the drill, and you’ll know that these are waves to ride out as we support our children with navigating their way through another change the best way we can. Look after yourselves.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but I hope helpful. Sending you all good wishes.

Emma Spillane is a qualified teacher, adoptive parent and attachment & trauma trainer who works with schools to support them on their journey towards becoming trauma-sensitive. More information about how she works with schools and the training and consultancy she offers can be found on her website

If you enjoyed reading this article, why not buy me a coffee to help support the magazine? If you’d like to read more articles about adoption, health and well-being, and parenting, head over to the home page and have a look at what’s new.

When you are trying to help you improve your child’s education, there are a lot of ways you can go about achieving this. Now, this is something that you need to focus on as much as possible, and there are a lot of ideas that you can use to help with this. Being able to improve this process is one of the key ideas that you can use to improve this, and allow your kid to get the education they deserve.

Make sure you come up with some of the best ideas you can use that will help your kid improve this process, as well as find the perfect route for learning and development. There are so many things that you need to be making the most of, and allowing your kid to gain the educational opportunities they deserve is so important; so here are some of the great ways of being able to achieve this. 

Image

Take More Interest

Taking more interest in your child’s education is one of the key things that you can do to help with this. There are so many ideas that play a part in this, and you have to make sure you focus on some of the key ideas that will allow you to make the most of this. Try to do the best you can to come up with some of the best ideas that you can use to help your kid learn and thrive, and being more involved in your child’s education by helping with homework, debating, and encouraging a love of learning can all be hugely effective. 

Encourage Them to Pursue What They Enjoy

Try to make sure you do the best you can to come up with some of the best ideas that will help your child be motivated to learn. Encouraging them to pursue subjects and topics that they enjoy and find stimulating. This is the best way to help them discover subjects that they are really good at and find interesting, and this is something that can help to drive them towards greater learning potential this year. It is also a great way of being able to find the ideal educational path for them, and the subjects they may wish to learn more about.

Help Them Choose the Right University

Choosing the right university for your child is one of the key things that plays a massive part in this process. Helping your kid find the perfect place to attend university is essential, and this is a decision that you can help with, but it should, ultimately, be their decision. Considering things like the courses available, reading list, accommodation, night life, and employment prospects can all make a huge difference to the appeal of the university that your kid wants to attend.

Making sure you think about the best ways of keeping your kid inspired and helping them to achieve the education they deserve is so important. This is one of the best things that you can do to make your child’s future more appealing, and this is something that you need to make the most of right now.

Starting school has another dimension of stress for working parents. The logistics of pick ups and drop offs during those first few weeks can be a nightmare. The school little Miss goes to doesn’t have a nursery attached. The headteacher said that this means it isn’t logistically possible for all children to start full days straight away. The staff don’t know the kids and the kids don’t know each other. Therefore, everyone needs to be gradually introduced.

School transition

Whatever the reason, it creates a nightmare if you work. The first week of school was three afternoons for an hour and a half. Not even enough time to go home and have a relaxing cuppa before it was time to go back and collect again. Week two was five mornings for two and a half hours. This really confused our daughter because the week before she went to school after lunch. She didn’t want to go after breakfast as that meant we couldn’t go to the park first.

We’re currently in week three which is full days less 10 minutes at the start and end of the day. Next week is finally full days. Although our daughter has struggled with drop offs, I think she would have been better starting off with full days more or less straight away.

Several of my friends children go to the same school, so I knew well in advance that the introduction was going to be long. We were also expecting our daughter to struggle with the change to start off with.

She struggled for a long time with drop offs at nursery. Every time she moved classes, she got upset again. There have been many mornings when I’ve driven to work in tears because of how upset she was when I left her. It’s really hard to get your head into work mode when you’re worrying about your child.

Time off work

So, I decided early this year that I needed to not be at work for September. My plan to win the lottery didn’t happen so I’ve ended up taking leave. Two weeks is paid, two weeks is unpaid special leave.

I know that I’m incredibly lucky to be able to do this. A lot of employers wouldn’t entertain a member of staff being off work for a month. I’m a civil servant and although I don’t say it often, in situations like this, I’m glad that I am. Generally, they’re good at flexible working and leave. Unfortunately though, there isn’t a specific part of our leave policy that covers children starting school.

I’m so, so glad I applied for the leave. Taking our daughter to school every day has been amazing. The walk is only about 10 minutes but takes us on a route she’d never been before. It’s been such a privilege seeing her discover new things on our walks to and from school.

It’s meant she’s had consistency and I think that’s been vital in her settling in as well as she has. There have been tears (hers and mine), but no-where near as many as we were excepting. At nursery, the staff often had to peel her off me so I could leave. We haven’t had anything like that. I know she’s older and better able to control her emotions. I also know I couldn’t have dealt with work and worrying about how she was coping.

Apart from the first day, most of the adults in the school yard have been grandparents. I’ve overheard quite a few conversations from parents saying they had no leave left to take and how stressful it’s been sorting out drop offs and collections.

Flexible working

Seeing so few parents in the yard is very sad. Starting school is such a crucial time in a child’s life. Most employers have policies for maternity / paternity / adoption leave. I bet very few have policies covering starting school.

The length of introduction to school varies widely from a couple of days to weeks, but it only happens once in a child’s life. Allowing parents to work flexibly for those first few weeks would be massive. It makes for a happier member of staff and a less stressful start to school life for the child.

Flexible working in general is on everyone’s radar at the minute thanks to high visibility campaigns like flex appeal. Hopefully by the time our youngest starts school, it’ll be easier for parents to work flexibly during those crucial first few weeks.

How to choose a school

Knowing what to look for in a school can be difficult. We were lucky because so many of my friends children went to the school we wanted our daughters to go to. They all rated it highly so we trusted their opinions and didn’t look at any other schools.

Not every child gets their first choice of school though. If that happens with your child, you can appeal the decision and this article gives you lots of information and tips about the steps you need to take.

The next big thing in terms of school will be to look for a secondary school for our girls. We’re not at that stage yet, but it helps to know what kinds of things to look for so we’re prepared when the time comes. If you want some tips about what to look for in a secondary school, this post from Claire Mac is a great place to start.