Written by Jill Whitehouse
Children and young people are amazing. They are curious, resilient and far more self-aware than adults often give them credit for. Yet in a world full of well-meaning grown-ups telling them what to think, feel, and do, young people can sometimes feel unheard.
It is as if the solutions to their problems are always handed to them from the outside, rather than discovered from within. As a primary school teacher and leader of over 30 years, and now as a solution-focused hypnotherapist, I have been in awe of young people’s abilities to solv,e problems and achieve their potential.
Solution-focused hypnotherapy offers a different approach. It starts from a simple but powerful belief that children and young people are experts in their own lives. They know what matters to them, what they will be motivated to do. They have the hopes, dreams and the inner resources to move forward and often just need the right space and support to access them.
What does it mean to be solution-focused?
Traditional approaches to wellbeing can sometimes focus heavily on problems, diagnoses and adult-led solutions. Solution-focused hypnotherapy takes a different view. Rather than dwelling on what is going wrong, it asks the child or young person what they want. What does their best possible future look like?
Everyone who comes to see me brings their own unique story, their own strengths and vision of what feeling better looks like. My role is not to tell them what they need, but to listen, really listen, and help them to identify their own goals. When children and young people feel genuinely heard and respected, something shifts. They begin to see the possibilities in their lives, not the problems.
Before any meaningful work can happen, a person needs to feel safe. From the moment a young person arrives at my free initial consultation, with their chosen adult, I focus on creating a warm, welcoming environment where there is no pressure to perform or share before they are ready. There is no right or wrong way to feel, and nothing they share will be judged. Sharing this session with a trusted adult gives everyone the confidence to understand the process moving forward and the confidentiality of what is discussed.
How I work with children
I begin by getting to know them and then ask about their hobbies and interests, the things that make them laugh, the activities that light them up. I want to hear about their favourite subjects at school, the games they love to play and their hopes for the future.
These conversations are not just icebreakers but the foundation of the solution-focused relationship we are looking to build. By understanding what someone cares about, I can start to build a picture of their strengths, their values and the things that genuinely motivate them.
Children and young people notice very quickly whether an adult is truly interested in them or simply going through the motions. I listen carefully to what is said as well as to what is not said. I follow the child’s lead, exploring what feels important to them rather than steering the conversation towards where I think it should go. This shows them that their voice is important and that it is being heard.
Next, we get into the brain explanation that shows them what is going on when they feel stressed or anxious, and they begin to understand how we can make our brains work for us. This is a real game-changer moment and is a major contributing factor to the success I observe.
Inside Out: Solution-Focused Hypnotherapy
It is the moment when the young person discovers that what they are experiencing is normal and that their brain is only trying to keep them safe. It is just sometimes getting a little mixed up in its messages. I often get them to think about the movie Inside Out, if they’ve seen it, with a sprinkle of easy-to-understand neuroscience. Thankfully, it works just as well without seeing the movie.
Once a child feels comfortable and has decided that this is something they would like to do, we move into the regular sessions. We start to put the brain explanation into practical use with a focus on the things that make the young person feel good and plenty of positive visualisation exercises, resulting in possible small actions to support them to move forward. The solutions that emerge are always the child’s own as they are the experts of themselves.
Through guided relaxation, they are supported to connect with their thoughts or feelings and identify any further small, practical actions that feel right for them, steps they believe in and actions they are far more likely to take as a result. The brain responds to these vivid, positive mental pictures in powerful and transformative ways, building new neural pathways associated with confidence and calm.
Working together
Solution-focused hypnotherapy is not something that is done to a person; it is something we do together as a partnership. Everyone needs to be an active participant in their own progress, celebrated for every step forward, however small. Over time, many children and young people develop not just greater confidence and emotional resilience, but a genuine sense of understanding that they have what it takes to shape their own future and deal with future challenges.
If you’d like to find out more about how Solution-focused hypnotherapy could support your child or yourself, I’d love to hear from you and arrange a free initial consultation either online or in person (Great Park, Gosforth, Newcastle upon Tyne).
You can find out more about me and my work from my website, or come and say hello on Facebook or Instagram.
Head to the homepage to read the latest articles about adoption, parenting and wellbeing.
