Written by Rob and Eve Lucas
We became parents through adoption, and then authors too…
We’ve been parents for three years now, and in the weeks following ‘Gotcha Day 2026’ we published our book about how we got there: A Long and Winding Path to Fatherhood: An Adoption Story, by Rob and Eve Lucas.
Of all the questions we’re asked about adoption, no one actually asks us why we decided to write a book about it: adoption is such an opaque, unknown process, even in today’s information-overloaded world. It was our attempts to answer all the questions we were – and still are – asked about it that drove us to share our story.
Books about adoption
If you go looking for them, there are a number of books out there which take readers through the adoption journey, and we read a couple of them when we were getting started. Then we read a few more during the application process. But there was something missing, at that time: the Dad’s voice.
The usual format is a ‘Mum-moir’: the tale of how a wannabe mum tried, failed and finally triumphed in becoming a parent, with her partner making special guest appearances here and there, but never quite becoming a fully-fledged character in his own right. We wanted to hear what the aspiring dads were doing and feeling during this journey: first-hand, in a bit of depth, and not just as an inclusion in the ‘we’ in the female narrative.
And so the idea for our own book started to take root. From an almost casual observation to each other, it took hold, and step-by-step became a fully formed plan for us to pursue.
It took two-and-a-half years for us to become parents to our son, and another year till the adoption was finalised. Why did it take that long? What was happening during all that time? This was when we were reading more books, looking for more information (including from this very website, which we quote in the book!), and wondering if our experience was normal and typical of the adoption path to parenthood.
The books we read moved on from this build-up stage swiftly, though, and spent most of their pages focusing on what happens after a child is adopted, so we decided we would write about everything that builds up to that point.
A Long and Winding Path to Fatherhood
The book is about us: Rob and Eve, hopeful and finally actual parents. It’s a tale told from a dad’s perspective of two people who wanted to become parents, and how a magical boy made that happen. It’s not an account of our son’s background and why he needed an additional and forever family. That’s not our story to tell; it’s his.
Just like becoming parents by adoption, though, writing a book wasn’t all about benefitting others – it was also for us. We started writing during the first year our son was living with us, before the paperwork was even finalised, while we were still in the midst of the process.
Taking the opportunity to look back over the long months and years it had taken for us to reach this point gave us a chance to process and to appreciate what had been the most demanding time of our lives (so far!). It took us back through every step, each milestone and all the pivotal dates which had moved us towards our son and family life. Writing it all down gave us a feeling of ownership and of achievement, even when there was still so much ahead of us to do.
In a prescient echo of becoming adopters, writing and publishing a book is not easy, quick, simple or a well-known pathway. As all writers who have travelled this journey before will tell you, writing the book in the first place is just one step on a far longer trajectory – and now we understand what they all mean by that.
From starting to write to the day we excitedly took the first copies of our book out of the box took just shy of two years. Seeing our book cover nestled in our ebook library, a proper book and a great cover, was another moment of joy, and also mild disbelief that it had happened.
We’ve done it! We wrote an entire book, and got it out into the world. It feels pretty amazing.
Sharing our story
Now we want to share it with all the prospective adopters, and those currently in the process; the waiting-to-be parents, and those who now have their child in their family via a similar long and winding route.
Our book is an account of how one wannabe dad managed to get there in the end, with an awesome wife in support and the most fabulous boy as his son. Welcome to how we became a family, from the dad’s point of view.
Learn more about Rob and Eve at their book website. The book is available to buy everywhere, and you can get a discount if you get the paperback version from Troubador Publishing, and the ebook is 99p everywhere.
FAQs about A Long and Winding Path to Fatherhood
It’s an adoption memoir written by adopters Rob and Eve Lucas, told from the father’s perspective, covering their journey from deciding to adopt through to becoming a family with their beautiful son
Eve and Lucas noticed most adoption books follow a “Mum-moir” format, where the father is a supporting character rather than a full voice in his own right. They wanted to fill that gap by having the father’s experience as the focus of the book.
It’s available to buy in most book retailers, with a discount on the paperback via Troubador Publishing, and the ebook priced at 99p.
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