It’s believed that around one out of every 15 young people in the UK self-harm. That’s an alarming figure.
Delays in accessing services and the continuing impact Covid-19 has had on children are some of the factors that contribute to this statistic. With limited practical support out there, one parent took matters into her own hands and created kits to support the “delay and replace” strategy with items for safer, alternative methods of self-harm.
Read on to find out about Sally’s experience and how S&L Safe Cut Kits® can help support anyone affected by self-harm.
My name is Sally Panks and I have founded a small, non-profit company, called S&L Safe Cut Kits® to help support those affected by self-harm. I’m from King’s Lynn in Norfolk and launched S&L Safe Cut Kits® as a result of our first-hand experience navigating a self-harm journey.
Our self-harm journey
I received a phone call, from my 11-year-old daughter’s primary school, informing me that she had been self-harming in the girls changing rooms.
It was one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with as a parent and the mix of emotions was so difficult to manage. I was shocked, upset, scared, and felt like a failure with a million other thoughts and feelings racing through my brain.
At that stage, I hadn’t really heard of self-harm and to be truthful, I didn’t deal with it very well. I can remember going into my daughter’s bedroom, crying and begging her to stop. I understand now that is one of the worst things I could have done. She felt guilty enough as it was, let alone with me putting my pain on her already burdened shoulders.
Professional services got involved with us as a family, as it was a safeguarding issue at school. They recommended I put together a ‘safe cut kit’ for her, but I just didn’t know where to start. The thought of going to a chemist and trying to think of what we needed was too much to cope with. I had a look online but there was nothing available dedicated to my daughter’s needs, a kit designed specifically for self-harmers.
A few years later I got an idea in my head that I couldn’t let go of – putting together my own kits to support other parents and individuals who are going through the same trauma as we did. So that’s how S&L Safe Cut Kits® started.
The delay and replace strategy
My kits primarily focus on the ‘delay and replace’ strategy with items for safer, alternative methods of self-harm.
The theory behind this is if you can delay your mindset for between 30 and 45 seconds, you are less likely to self-harm. Delay the thought pattern, by going to your kit and considering other methods. Then replace the need to self-harm with one of the enclosed safer, alternative options.
The content of the S&L Safe Cut Kits®
There are elastic bands people can put on their wrists and flick, which still causes pain but is less harmful.
The kits also include red pens so people can draw mock wounds on their skin. If people have what looks like a wound, they will often treat it as such and even dress it with a plaster and bandage, taking away the need to harm.
There are also ice cube moulds that users can freeze and hold in their hand, or rub on their skin to achieve that cold ache feeling, and less harmful than cutting or burning.
The kits also include a stress ball, and a journal with a pencil to write down thoughts and feelings. Journaling, drawing or doodling is a really positive way to offload unwanted feelings.
The first aid supplies are carefully chosen for cut-style wounds. Everything is sterile. Plasters are long and thin, and alcohol-free dressing means the kits are safe for individuals who struggle with alcohol misuse.
A step-by-step, illustrated guide is also included showing how to use the alternative methods and clear, first aid instructions on wound care as well as emergency telephone numbers and when to ask for help.
The kits do not contain blades or anything designed for cutting.
Statistics around self-harm
Self-harm is becoming increasingly common. 17% of people will self-harm during their lifetime. In context, in a class of 30 pupils, five of them will self-harm.
There are many myths about self-harm. One is that only young people self-harm. The reality is that numbers are rising in both young people and men in their mid-30s. It is not just a young person’s coping strategy. It affects anyone from any background and age range.
I hope my kits will help people to manage their self-harm, and that the first aid equipment can help to lessen any infection and potential scarring.
The kits can be purchased on my website as well as my shop on eBay and Etsy. The website also contains other resources and information about self-harm.
Support group
S&L Safe Cut Kits® also runs a private support group on Facebook, where people can post anonymously in a safe, non-judgmental space, on anything to do with self-harm or mental health in general. The group also has professionals who can offer guidance and support. Anyone is free to join if they need support surrounding self-harm or anything mental health-related.
My daughter-in-law, Laura Panks, helps with the kits and events. We go to many events up and down the country, raising awareness. We are happy to discuss self-harm, what to look for, and how to manage it to help reduce the stigma. When self-harm is hidden and unmanaged, it can be dangerous. Having access to alternative methods and first aid supplies is therefore vital.
Of course, getting to the route of the reasons for self-harm is extremely important. Self-care methods, counselling or therapy to help to break the cycle, are fundamental. Self-harm is an addiction but it can be managed and beaten. My daughter has been self-harm-free for over a year now. It’s not easy, there will be bumps in the road, but it can be done.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story and I hope it has been of some help.
Head to the parenting section to read other articles that provide support and advice about a range of issues.
