Written by Tracey Tait, The Menopause Training Company
You shouldn’t have to suffer in silence at work. Here’s a simple framework to help you start the conversation with confidence.
Menopause affects half of all employees, and yet it remains one of the most uncomfortable topics in the workplace. If you’ve been struggling to find the words, you’re not alone. This blog walks you through exactly how to prepare for and have that all-important conversation with your manager, a colleague in HR, or someone in occupational health.
Why Is Menopause Still So Hard to Talk About?
The facts speak for themselves. In the UK, there are 3.5 million women over 50 in the workplace. Three out of four women experience menopause symptoms, and one in four of those symptoms can be serious. The average age for menopause in the UK is 51, though around 1 in every 100 women will experience it before the age of 40.
And yet, for many women, managing symptoms at work means quietly soldiering on and hoping that nobody notices the hot flushes, the brain fog, or the exhaustion from a night of broken sleep.
The reasons for staying silent are completely understandable. You might feel embarrassed, or you’re not even sure yourself what’s happening. Perhaps you don’t want to be seen to be struggling, or there’s a fear of being dismissed or ridiculed. Whatever’s holding you back, know this: you deserve support, and asking for it is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Before the Conversation: Ask Yourself Two Questions
Before you approach anyone, it helps to get clear on two things:
- What is the problem?
- What does the other person think is the problem?
That second question matters more than you might expect. There’s a real possibility that the person you speak to has very little understanding of menopause or how it affects people at work. Going in with that awareness helps you frame the conversation in a way that’s constructive rather than confrontational.
Prepare Notes, Not a Script
It’s tempting to sit down and write out exactly what you want to say, word for word. Resist that urge. Your manager doesn’t know their lines, and if the conversation veers off course — which it likely will you’ll find yourself stuck, frustrated, or overwhelmed. If brain fog is one of your symptoms, a rigid script can make things even harder.
Instead, jot down some bullet points covering:
- How your symptoms are affecting you
- How they’re impacting your work
- What practical adjustments might help
- A rough time frame for the support you’re looking for
Menopause in the Workplace: Your Four-Part Framework
When you’re ready to have the conversation, structure it around these four points:
1. I have a problem
Be clear and direct about what’s happening. For example: “I’m experiencing hot flushes because of my menopause” or “I’m exhausted due to night sweats.”
2. This is how it’s affecting me
Explain the personal impact. Hot flushes might mean you’re regularly stepping away from your desk to cool down. Night sweats might mean you’re coming in sleep-deprived and finding it harder to make decisions or complete tasks.
3. This is how it’s impacting my work
Connect your symptoms to your productivity in a factual, non-apologetic way. This isn’t about oversharing; it’s about helping your manager understand the practical reality.
4. Here’s what I need help with
Come with solutions in mind. Could you be provided with a desk fan or moved closer to a window? Could your desk be repositioned near the air conditioning? Could you start work later on difficult days, or work from home when needed? Practical, reasonable suggestions make it easier for your manager to say yes. Your ideas also help your manager think of alternatives or what else they can do for you.
How to Open the Conversation
You don’t need a formal speech, just a warm, honest opener. Something like:
“Thanks for making time to sit down with me. You know how important [project/role] is to me, but I’m really struggling to move forward at the moment. Part of the problem is that I’m experiencing menopause symptoms. I’d really like us to find a way for me to be as productive as possible. I’ve got a couple of ideas and I’d love to hear your thoughts too.”
Simple. Human. Collaborative.
Always Follow Up
Don’t let the conversation end without agreeing on next steps. Your manager may need time to think things through, and that’s okay. What matters is that you leave with a date in the diary to follow up and check on progress.
What If You Can’t Talk to Your Manager?
Not everyone has a manager they feel comfortable confiding in, and that’s a reality worth acknowledging. If that’s the case for you, consider reaching out to someone in HR, a trusted colleague, or your occupational health department if your organisation has one. You have options.
A Quick Recap
- Ask yourself: what’s the problem, and what might the other person think is the problem?
- Make notes and don’t rely on a script. Your notes can cover your symptoms, their impact, and ideas for solutions
- Use the four-part framework: I have a problem / this is how it’s affecting me / this is how it’s impacting my work / here’s what I need help with
- Always agree on a follow-up date
The conversation might feel daunting, but having it is the first step to getting the support you deserve.
If your workplace wants to be better at supporting colleagues through menopause, rather than worrying about saying or doing the wrong thing, get in touch with me or have a look at my website.
FAQs about Menopause in the Workplace
Talking about menopause in the workplace starts with being clear and honest. Explain your symptoms, how they affect your wellbeing, and how they impact your work. Offering practical solutions, such as flexible hours or workspace adjustments, can help create a constructive conversation with your employer.
Menopause in the workplace can feel difficult to discuss due to stigma, lack of awareness, and fear of being judged. Many employees worry about how they’ll be perceived, which can lead to staying silent rather than asking for support.
Support for menopause in the workplace can include reasonable adjustments such as flexible working, access to cooler workspaces, rest breaks, or remote working options. Employers should also create an open, supportive environment where employees feel comfortable discussing their needs.
Reasonable adjustments for menopause in the workplace may include desk fans, changes to working hours, the option to work from home, or moving workstations to more comfortable environments. These adjustments help employees manage symptoms while maintaining productivity.
If you’re unable to talk to your manager, you can discuss menopause in the workplace with HR, occupational health, or a trusted colleague. It’s important to seek support from someone you feel comfortable with.
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