Introduce yourself and your family
I am Tommy, my wife is Louise and we have a 12-year-old daughter Freya, and our son K.
Tell us a bit about your adoption journey
We started with Barnados during Covid. We originally chose Coram but found the experience with them horrible so we started with Barnados who were great. We started roughly in April 2020 and we became a family in February 2021.
The process was reasonably straightforward but we found the introduction stage hard being stuck in a flat all day with the foster carer from 5.30 am until bedtime.
How did matching work?
The matching process was straightforward for us. Our social worker matched us with K, we had a bump-in meeting in a park just before he turned two. Introductions took a bit longer than usual as his first adoption placement broke down.
What was your biggest source of support during your journey through the assessment and matching?
Our support network of friends and family was a massive help. We would have struggled without them as it took him a while to settle.
What were introductions/transitions like? Do you keep in touch with foster carers now?
Introductions were hard. They were based in the foster carer’s flat for long hours each day and there wasn’t much space for us all to settle. We’ve kept in touch and I send pictures to the foster carer every few months.
Have you needed post-adoption support since your child came home? If so, did you get the support you needed? Was it timely or were there waiting lists?
We needed some support at first for the first few weeks as it took him a while to adjust but haven’t needed any support.
What’s been the hardest part of your journey?
The initial few weeks were the hardest while we were all adapting to each other.
The best part?
Watching him grow into a sweet loving boy. He’s gone from showing little or no affection to lots of snuggles and hugs. And being able to give our daughter a sibling has been amazing.
What advice would you give yourself knowing what you do now, if you were just starting your adoption journey?
Don’t expect to it be easy. Just because you’re great with kids and a good father doesn’t mean it will be easy. It takes time and patience.
Head to the adoption stories section to read more unique adoption journeys.
