A Journey of Acknowledgment, Healing and Growth
Written by Kay McCready
Adoption is a journey filled with love, hope, and transformation. It brings together individuals seeking to build or complete their family with a child who needs stability, security, and love. Yet, beneath the joy and excitement, adoption is layered with complex emotions—for adoptive parents, birth parents, and the child.
Many of these emotions remain unspoken, buried beneath the demands of the adoption process. However, to embrace adoption in a healthy way, emotional resilience is crucial. It allows individuals to acknowledge and navigate the highs and lows rather than suppress emotions in an attempt to ‘push through.’ When left unprocessed, emotions can surface unexpectedly, creating challenges for both parents and children.
This article explores the emotional landscape of adoption, the tendency to suppress emotions, and how emotional resilience can support a more fulfilling experience.
The Hidden Emotions of Adoption
Every adoption story is unique, yet certain emotions are common. Adoptive parents often feel anticipation, fear, and self-doubt, wondering if they will be ‘enough’ or if they will bond with their child. Many also experience grief—for the journey they expected to take or for past struggles before choosing adoption.
For birth parents, adoption can bring sorrow, guilt, and loss. Even when made with love, the emotional weight can be profound. Society often does not provide space for birth parents to grieve openly, leaving many to suppress their emotions.
For the child, adoption brings a mixture of relief, confusion, grief, and longing. Even when it leads to a better, more stable life, there is often an underlying sense of loss—the loss of biological connection and familiarity. Children may struggle to articulate these emotions, leading to emotional shutdown or behavioural challenges.
The Tendency to Suppress Emotions
The adoption process often leads individuals to focus on logistical steps—paperwork, approvals, and preparations—while pushing emotions aside.
Adoptive parents may feel pressure to ‘just be grateful’ and not acknowledge fears or doubts. Birth parents may feel they need to accept their decision and move on without fully grieving. Children may suppress their emotions, fearing that expressing sadness may disappoint their new family or create instability.
However, emotional suppression does not mean feelings disappear—it simply means they remain unprocessed, often resurfacing later as stress, anxiety, or emotional disconnection.
The Power of Emotional Resilience
Emotional resilience is the ability to process emotions in a healthy and constructive way. It is not about avoiding difficult emotions but learning how to sit with them, understand them, and transform them into personal growth.
For adoptive parents, emotional resilience means allowing themselves to feel the full spectrum of their emotions—joy, fear, and even grief—without guilt. It means acknowledging that adoption is both beautiful and challenging and seeking support when needed. When parents process their emotions, they become better equipped to hold space for their child’s emotions as well.
For birth parents, emotional resilience involves acknowledging loss and grief rather than burying it. Seeking support groups, counselling, or self-compassion practices can help honour emotions rather than suppressing them.
For the child, emotional resilience is cultivated when they are given a safe space to express their feelings without judgment. Normalising conversations about adoption, allowing difficult questions, and supporting their emotional journey helps them develop resilience. They should know that all their emotions—love, sadness, confusion—are valid and welcome.
Practical Steps to Build Emotional Resilience in Adoption
1. Create Emotional Awareness
Recognising emotions as they arise is key to resilience. Journaling, mindfulness, and self-reflection can help parents and children alike.
2. Allow Space for Grief and Joy to Coexist
Grief and joy often exist side by side in adoption. Acknowledging loss does not diminish the love and happiness adoption brings.
3. Foster Open Communication
Encouraging children to ask questions and express emotions without fear of rejection creates emotional safety. Birth parents should also be supported in processing their grief.
4. Seek Support and Guidance
Adoption is not a journey to navigate alone. Support groups, counselling, and coaching can provide vital emotional support for all involved.
5. Embrace the Evolution of the Adoption Journey
Adoption is a lifelong journey. Emotions will shift over time, and that’s okay. Navigating these shifts with openness allows for growth and connection.
Conclusion: A Journey of the Heart
Adoption is an act of love, but it is also an experience filled with emotional complexity. The tendency to suppress emotions in favour of ‘getting through the process’ may seem necessary, but long-term resilience is built through acknowledgment and self-compassion.
By embracing the full depth of emotions—joy, grief, love, and uncertainty—adoptive parents, birth parents, and children can navigate adoption with greater connection and healing. Adoption is not just about creating families; it is about making space for every emotion, every story, and every heart to be seen and honoured.
Unprocessed emotions do not simply disappear; they remain in the body and the nervous system. Over time, these stored emotions can contribute to chronic stress, anxiety, and even physical illness. Emotional resilience is not just about mental well-being—it is about overall health. Practices such as breathwork can be powerful tools in releasing stored emotions, regulating the nervous system, and fostering emotional balance.
How I can help
My name is Kay McCready and I’m an emotional resilience expert, trauma practitioner and 9D breathwork facilitator. I specialise in helping people navigate life’s challenges, heal emotional wounds, and rebuild their inner strength.
As a special gift for We Made a Wish readers, you can also download a free 5-minute 9D Breathwork session to help you begin your journey toward emotional release and resilience. Breathwork is a simple yet powerful practice that allows you to shift energy, regulate emotions, and restore inner balance and take the first step toward emotional healing today.
If you find yourself struggling with unprocessed emotions, I invite you to take advantage of a free Emotional Resilience Review. In this session, we will explore what your life could look like with greater emotional resilience and how I can help you achieve that. This is an opportunity to reflect on your emotional patterns, gain clarity on what’s holding you back, and take the first step toward lasting change. Book your free review today or visit the website for full details of the ways I can help and support you and your family.
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