This week’s interview is with Elena Holmes. She’s written this book about her journey as an adoptive mum and you can follow her on Instagram @helloelenaholmes.
Introduce yourself and your family
Hello there – Elena here. We are a family of four – Mum, Dad, older boy and younger girl.
Not forgetting the many pets!
What area of the UK do you live in?
South Of england
Was your agency a local authority or voluntary agency?
Did you read any adoption stories before you started? If so where? (eg blog, Instagram, books)
Many, many textbooks, blogs, advice columns, podcasts and attended courses.
What was your biggest worry before you started?
That our children would be too much for us to cope with.
How long did the process take from the point of deciding you wanted to adopt to your child(ren) coming home?
11 months in total.
What age and number of children were you approved for? Were you matched to a different age or number of children from this?
We were approved for two children aged six and under and that’s what we were matched with.
How did the matching process work? Did you look at lots of profiles?
We looked at some profiles and asked for more information on a few children but sadly we didn’t hear back from any of those agencies. Luckily our amazing social worker knew of two children on their own books. They seemed the perfect match for us, and so she put us forward.
What has been the most difficult part about the process?
Managing other people and their interference. The judgements and unkindness we have faced from family and friends has been tough. You are genuinely following instructions and trying your best. Unfortunately people seem to think because you are ‘approved’ as parents, rather than just getting pregnant, you must be perfect so any opportunity they see to notice you’re not – they take advantage!
Or schools – these are such a huge nightmare!
Have you needed to access additional help and support from your agency since your child came home? If so, what and did it meet your needs?
Both of our children attend creative therapy due to their complex needs and sensory issues. Our agency help us by applying to the adoption support fund for this. They also come to regular adoption support meetings with schools. We really need their support there.
What has been your best memory since your child(ren) came home?
Having a genuinely amazing holiday together. Only between sibling problems, no melt downs, relaxing time for us both and happiness together. It was planned and organised but still calm and stress free with happy family all round
If you could go back and have a conversation with yourself about the process before you started, what would you tell yourself?
Ignore judgements from anyone. They are unaware of all the facts and are not in your shoes. Look much more carefully for the ideal school and get in there early with advice, educating and good relationships.