The #ukadoptioncommunity on Instagram is full of wonderful, supportive accounts. The community has grown considerably over the last few months and aims to help and support all sides of the adoption triangle. Today’s article is written by Paul, Molly, Vince, Zoe and Sam who have come together to create @wantedlovedadopted, to share the realities of adoption.
Introducing Wanted, Loved, Adopted, set up by Paul, Molly, Vince, Zoe & Sam. Our mission is clear and simple – “sharing our stories, your stories and the highs and lows to build an inclusive adoption community that is welcome to all”.
We each have different pathways to adoption and have different experiences of the adoption process. We each individually have our own social media page and have engaged with each other throughout our own journeys. It therefore felt right for us to collaborate to create a space that not only we can relate to, but for there to be an outlet in which adoption can be spoken about openly and to educate others about fostering and adoption.
Here’s a little more about us…
Molly
I’m a young mum of two to a biological four year old daughter and my one year old son who my husband and I brought home last summer. Adoption has brought so much joy to our lives so I’m very excited to share more of my story through the WantedLovedAdopted platform.
We chose adoption for many reasons. My husband has experience of working with children in care and it’s something I’ve always been passionate about. After several experiences of baby loss, we decided that DNA didn’t matter and we wanted to unconditionally love a child who needed a home.
We began our adoption journey in December 2019 and were approved five months later in May 2020. We were soon matched with our son and brought him home, making the process a speedy 7 months for us! The adoption order was granted half a year later. I am so grateful to have expanded my family through UK adoption. Many don’t see it as a choice, but that’s exactly what it is. It’s a choice that we have embraced alongside our daughter and our families.
Zoe
We thought about adoption after struggling to conceive. It was always something I had thought about but didn’t know much about.
I first made contact the day our first round of IVF failed. I was not in the right place to go through at that time, I also didn’t want to hear that from the agency when I called. They said we had to wait 6 months (which not all agencies ask now) and then call them back. Circumstances changed and we went for another round of IVF.
Not long after our second round failed we heard an advert on the radio about an adoption information session local to us. So we went along. We also took our parents with us, which is apparently very unusual!! A few weeks later we were having a pre-stage visit and started on Stage One!
In total our journey took nine months from the initial information day to going to panel. Three months after we were approved our social workers called us about a baby boy. After what felt like ages (but was actually only six weeks) we met our little boy and 10 exhausting days later he was home and our dreams had come true. The rest is a story for another day.
Paul
Me, and my partner Alex, became dads to our incredible two children in June 2020. We started our adoption journey back in May 2019, and were surprised by how straight forward, albeit intrusive and demanding, the process actually was. You hear so many different stories. Covid, as it has for many, was the main disruptor in the process. Our introductions were postponed the day prior to them starting due to the first lockdown, leading to a 16 week delay to placement.
Adoption was always our chosen route to becoming dads. We were shocked when we read the statistics about children looking for their forever homes, and saddened when we understood the large number of sibling groups above three years old being separated or moving into long term foster placements, and from that moment on, we always wanted to adopt two children.
The adoption community was such a support to us during the process, particularly when we hit the delay. I am really excited to be part of an incredible group of adopters working together on the wanted, loved, adopted community of Instagram, and being able to provide support and guidance to those thinking about adoption or those on their journey.
Vince
My journey started in July of 2016. After much thought and soul searching, I decided to pursue concurrency as my path to parenthood. In October 2017, I became the first single gay male to concurrently care for a baby in England. Through many trials and tribulations, I was eventually awarded my adoption status in 2019.
My son will be four in July, and for me concurrency was totally worth it, despite the risks that come attached with it. Using my experience, I am now a vice chairman for Caritas Care adoption and fostering panel meaning I get to create many beautiful families throughout the year. I’m really looking forward to sharing my past journey, and helping with advice wherever and whenever I can.
Sam
Our adoption story began in 2018 and following a lengthy adoption process, we were approved to adopt in late 2019.
We saw Little Man’s profile several months after approval. Following a series of meetings, bump intos, life appreciation day and more, we were matched in Spring 2020. Sadly, the same day a legal challenge was made. Our adoption was therefore placed on hold for the foreseeable future.
Then a week later the United Kingdom was put into lockdown for three very long months. This by far was the most challenging, emotional and toughest period we have ever faced. Thankfully little man came home in the summer of 2020. It’s hard to believe we’ve been parents for eight months now, riding the rollercoaster of parenthood ever since.
Adoption has taught us so much more than we ever realised. Whilst the process itself has been nearly three years in the making for us, it has shown us how resilient we are. And how proud we are of Little Man and the happiness he brings to our lives.
If you would like to know more about the adoption community, please do join us on WantedLovedAdopted where we are always looking to spread awareness about different aspects of adoption.
Paul, Molly, Vince, Zoe & Sam
Wanted, Loved, Adopted
