This week’s blog is written by Scottish Adoption Teen Ambassador Arran. He’s written about reclaiming his identity and using his past as a foundation to build on for the future. It’s such an insightful peace.
I’m Still Standing
Individual identity is important, we can all agree on that. But when I hear someone say, “Just be you” I can’t help but squirm. For one, yourself is rarely what is best in most situations. Two, I also wonder, if simply being yourself creates the illusion that you have no power to shape or to mould out the (prolonged pause) bad bits?
Being a teenager and learning that such ‘self-crafting’ is possible could be an extremely powerful thing. However, there is a downside to this, because part of yourself is your past. And your past. Well, you can’t change that.
For some, the past they carry is heavier than for others. For anyone who is adopted, this burden can be quite large. This can take hold and then shape their identity more than they seem to be able to themselves. More than they want.
In my family, my adoption was talked about in a way that meant I created a toolset of motivation. What happened in my past with my birth parents wasn’t fun, good, or of benefit. But without sounding like a hippy; I firmly believe that life is riddled with rough times. And, after adoption, with the right support and mindset, we can all go on to take on the world head first.
This is the basis I have built my foundation on as a person. And this is a way for you too to take control of your past, no matter what it is.
I’m thankful I have the resources to do so, because even though it was tough. I’m still standing.
By Arran Gray