When we started our adoption journey, I wanted to find out what the process was really like from people who’d been through it. I struggled to find many books or articles written by adopters about their experiences.
Thankfully, there are a lot more books on the market now, written by adopters, sharing their experience of the process. They cover the highs, lows, and everything in between, giving anyone thinking about adopting, an accurate picture of what to expect.
I’ve put together a list of eight books that share what the process is like from adopter and adoptee perspectives, as well as a novel that captures the emotional rollercoaster perfectly.
Please note that the links to buy the books are affiliate links. That means if you click on the link and then buy the book, I get paid a small fee from Amazon.
Meant to Be by Lisa Faulkner
When Lisa learned that she couldn’t have biological children, her plans and expectations for her life were derailed. But, in the months and years that followed, she discovered that there was more than one way to build a family – and that there is a lot of joy to be found in life’s unexpected detours.
And Then There Were Four by Emma Sutton
And Then There Were Four is an unforgettable, unputdownable rollercoaster through the hilarious highs and pass-the-gin-now-the-tissues lows of infertility, adoption, and parenting.
No Matter What: An Adoptive Family’s Story of Hope, Love and Healing by Sally Donovan
This book tells the uplifting true story of an ordinary couple who build an extraordinary family – describing Sally and Rob Donovan’s journey from a diagnosis of infertility to their decision to adopt two children who suffered abuse in their early life. Heart-rending, inspiring and hilarious, Sally and Rob’s story offers a rare insight into the world of adoptive parents and just what it takes to bring love to the lives of traumatised children.
How I Met My Son: A Journey Through Adoption by Rosalind Powell
When journalist Rosalind Powell and her husband wanted to start a family, they had no idea of the journey that lay ahead. Encountering fertility issues and gruelling IVF treatment to no avail, but still determined to be parents, they set off on the adoption route. After many false starts and dashed hopes they eventually, and luckily, found their son. A candid, compelling, and inspirational book about what it means to be a parent of a child that isn’t, biologically, your own.
My Adoption Journey 2015-2019 How My Dream Became A Reality, Yours Could Too by Christopher A Gaidhu-Withell
When Chris and his husband were researching adoption, trying to find hints, tips, and general personal experiences on how other same-sex couples had found the process, there was nothing out there. Most of what was out there were the happy elements such as family holidays or days out now that everything has settled. They didn’t show the negativity from the stresses of assessments or the stresses of adjusting to the major changes going on. This is why he decided to write this book, to provide help and advice to those who are going through the same journey that myself and my husband went through.
Me, the Boy, and The Monster: Exploring the psychology of adoption and trauma by Cat McGill
The book is a personal, thoughtful, and touching tribute to a family’s journey through the world of adoption and trauma. McGill has a background in developmental psychology and uses this to great effect; the theory sections of MTBTM are relevant, researched, and related to real-life examples from McGill’s own experience with her adopted son.
The Girl in the Purple Dress by Jo Horsely
Always, always carry hope… This is Jo’s adoption story which begins with her as a small child being rocked by her mother, who is struggling to hand her over to the adoption agency. Through school and work, heartbreak and marriage, love and loss, Jo discovers more about herself and builds a life that embraces all definitions of the word ‘family’. Her story hasn’t ended, and there’s so much more to come…
The Prep Group by Eloisa Hope
“The Prep Group” is a novel about three hopeful couples who have embarked on the challenging journey of becoming parents through adoption. It follows the couples as they share the highs, lows, and everything in between the adoption assessment process, matching, placement, and beyond.
There are parts of the book that made the hairs on the back of my arms stand up. Becoming a parent via adoption is something you can’t imagine unless you’ve been through it. It’s a journey like no other and Eloisa has captured that brilliantly. Although the book is fiction, it’s a must-read for anyone thinking about adoption because it captures so accurately the rollercoaster of highs, lows and everything in between when you become an adoptive parent.
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